First day of 2008

I'm not usually one for resolutions, as I don't believe in setting oneself up for failure, but I thought it couldn't hurt considering all that is going on in my life.

1. Live for today and tomorrow, not in the past

2. Think positively and you will attract positive things

3. Find your centre everyday

It is my sincere hope that I can believe absolutely that better things are yet to come, without self pity, self doubt or false hope.

This is my dearest wish for the New Year. Here's to 2008!

December 2007 Books and Movies

He's Just Not That Into You - The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
Liz Tuccillo, Greg Behrendt

When I first heard the sentence uttered on Sex and the City, I thought: that makes sense. In book format with all possible scenarios, it makes even greater sense. Of course there are exceptions, but they are very few and far between. (That's why they call them exceptions...) Too many women (myself included) have thought they were with the guy who was the exception to the rule, but if there are so many of them, they're obviously not the exception. I do think about how much time I have wasted thinking about all the seemingly mixed messages I have received over the years. This book is especially good for break ups because even if you don't fully understand the reason, the fact that he is looking you in your beautiful face and telling you he doesn't need you in his life anymore is proof enough that he's just not that into you.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets

Not bad! I was shocked to see so many big big stars in this, Helen Mirren, Harvey Keitel, Ed Harris? The acting was pretty bad on purpose, but the special effects were cool, as was the storyline. Both Helen Mirren's and Diane Kruger's inconsistent American accents were very distracting. They should just hire Americans next time, it's not like there's a lack of people out there. I really liked the puzzle desks and the book of secrets itself. A good distraction but don't go expecting great cinema.

Lamb - The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
Christopher Moore

When I finished this book, my first thought was: what a great book. My second thought was: I'm so sad that this is my last Christopher Moore novel, I sure hope he writes a new one soon. This book is great because it takes a prolific story (religious or not, most people know who Jesus is) and gives a sometimes irreverent, sometimes bang on view of the first century A.D. life. It's well researched and also gives us insight into some other world religions, all of which have versions of the Golden Rule. It's not preachy, but forces one to look deep inside oneself when contemplating the book. Best of all, it's hilarious! I found his comments on the Tao particularly scintillating, especially since I have been doing a lot of thinking about the merits of this religion. This book is an excellent read, I can't say enough about it, go read it!

Walk Hard - The Dewey Cox Story

Pretty funny! The Johnny Cash, Elvis and Bob Dylan story all rolled into one. A bit crude and lewd at times but laugh out loud at some points. John C. Reilly was excellent. He really has a fantastic voice. A good movie if you want a distraction from reality.

The Judgment of Paris - The Revolutionary Decade That Gave the World Impressionism
Ross King

This book was behemoth, even though it only weighs in at about 370 pages. This took me months and months to read, mainly because of all the detailed notes King includes. I've never formally studied Art History and the subject is fascinating! I peripherally recognized some of the paintings included in the colour plates, but didn't know the details. It was really interesting to read about Manet and how he influenced and detracted from the Impressionist movement. Ross King is a great writer, blending fact and supposition into a tightly written narrative. Excellent, really glad I persevered.

Love Actually (DVD)

Really great film. Love the cast, the London setting, even the xmas timeframe, and I don't usually go for holiday films. Cried buckets, especially at the unrequited and wrong person love bits. Excellent, go see it!

I Think I Love My Wife (DVD)

This had very limited release in the theatres in Canada and for good reason. Some very funny lines, but over all, not a shred of sustainable dialogue. The end scene was one of the worst of all times. I remember watching the trailer and thinking it may be funny, but never actually went to see it. Ok to rent, but utimately, give it a miss.

The Golden Compass

This was pretty good...until the ending. What a let down! The story rolls along pretty quick and requires a lot of inferring skill. Not to mention that it is pretty violent, so I'm not sure how it is overly kid friendly. Daniel Craig did not get enough screen time to do justice to his gorgeousness. I suppose they are leading up to do the sequel, but it'll probably depend on the success of this one.

Enchanted

Very cute! Love Patrick Dempsey, he is gorgeous. It was neat to watch the flip between the animated world and the real world. Watch for the great musical number in the park. Amy Adams is absolutely fantastic as Giselle the fairytale princess. A very fun movie!

Last day of 2007

I don't often make New Year's resolutions, but I'm making one now that I will be trying very hard to keep. I will make note of the positive in my life and be thankful for it.

Today was very very difficult. There was a family gathering at my grandparents, and a picture was taken of all the grandchildren, including the new great grand baby. I was the only one alone. It's weird, before this relationship, I wouldn't have thought anything of it. But because I had brought my entire self to the relationship, and made my family a part of things, the absence made my heart break. I could barely keep it together and came home and cried and cried. I know there is no set time for these things, but I keep thinking, shouldn't it be getting better? Or is it just because it's New Year's or the holiday season? Why do I still ache with loneliness, why am I still blanketed in sadness, why am I filled with longing, but most of all why do I miss someone who deliberately cut me out of his life? It seems really twisted. There are definitely some design flaws in humans, because we should be able to recognise that it's not healthy to still want someone who doesn't want us. But it's not that way at all.

I'm going to try and have as ok of a New Year's as I can, but all I can hope for is to make it through without crying.

1 month

Well I made it to one month. At the beginning of all this, I really didn't think I would make it to the next day, let alone the next week or the first month. I have good days and bad days, unfortunately more bad than good still. I miss the companionship and friendship. I miss being in a relationship, having a date for special functions and the closeness. I don't miss the battles of the core personality differences or the rigidity. I don't miss the frustrations, resentments and uncertainties. After reading the book "He's just not that into you" based on an episode of Sex and the City I paraphrased a few affirmations that are helping me see things more clearly.

The person you want to get back together with is the SAME person who looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your wonderful qualities, and told you he was no longer in need of your company.

Don't be flattered that he misses you. He SHOULD miss you. You're deeply missable. However, he's still the same person who just broke up with you. The ONLY reason he can miss you is because he's CHOOSING, everyday, NOT to be with you.

It's very tempting when you really want to be with someone to SETTLE for much, much less - even a vague, pathetic facsimile of less - than you would have ever imagined. Keep your eye on the prize!

Of course, I don't believe these affirmations yet, but am hopeful that someday I will.

Today was difficult

From finding out that my dad had seen him at the museum, to him calling to wish me a nice family dinner and a Merry Xmas (likely because of seeing my dad at the museum), the day was filled with longing and sadness. Every young person in my family is coupled up except for me. Older members had high hopes for this year, because this was the year all the grandkids had partners. I was keenly reminded and acutely aware of how alone I was. I hope that it is just the day and that this heart numbing missing of him will pass or else I will drive myself crazy with my own thoughts and heartache.

Christmas Eve

It feels weird. It doesn't feel like the holidays at all. I've never been much for this time of year, but last year was the first time I really enjoyed myself. I was in the honeymoon stages of a great new relationship, forging new traditions that I was so looking forward to this year. It's downright depressing. Not to mention I can't stop thinking about if he even cares. If he is affected at all my absence at this time as I am by his. This is also brought on by telling my Italian grandparents yesterday that it was over. They were very disappointed (I'm the oldest grandchild and am now the only one without a relationship) but also don't want me to be unhappy. I tried really hard to be strong, but I cried a little. I'm just so disappointed in the way everything turned out. My grandmother said, "oh, he'll come back in two weeks", which is her way of dealing with the news. I don't know what was worse, telling them initially, or having to convince her afterwards that this wasn't temporary, when I'm still struggling with coming to terms with that fact myself. I hate writing it down, but I'm not looking forward to tomorrow at all. Even though everyone knows and will undoubtedly be sensitive to how I'm feeling, it will still be weird. Anyway we'll see how it goes.

The road to clairity and understanding isn't always so smooth...

Just got home from a nice end of school before the December holidays celebratory drink/dinner/coffee with a friend. Have I mentioned how grateful I am for my friends? Days are passing and with them feelings of being ok, being not ok, being really not ok and taking it one step at a time. Had my first EAP session on Tuesday, and have started the homework, mainly externalising my thoughts. I do tend to keep them bottled up inside, until they tumble round and round, making no sense at all and sending me into a useless thought cycle. Getting them out is helpful, although there are still some things I don't want to write down, for example, even though I know that acceptance is the road to healing, I still can't write the words, "it's over" and really and truly mean them.

On an unrelated note, got lots of nice prezzies from the kiddies today, quite a change from the dollar store items I received last year. It makes me wonder though, which is better, dollar store gifts from geniune people, or expensive gifts from alpha people. Hmmmm.

Looking forward to the time off, hopefully I'll be able to enjoy some of it. I know I won't be completely fine, but hope that the joy of the season will permeate somewhat.

Almost forgot what day it was...

until it hit me, today would have been 15 months. It's interesting because last month, which was 14 months, went by and I didn't notice for the first time. I guess I should have taken that as a warning sign. My friend said something pretty profound today. He said that I wouldn't have reacted to the birthday gifts the way in which I did if I wasn't feeling resentment for what I wasn't getting out of the relationship. Why is it so hard to admit that I had doubts while in the middle of it? Why is it so hard to admit that it's over? Between my job, my mom's illness and this, I'm not holding up well.

Not having a good day

Maybe it's the combination of a winter storm keeping me cooped up inside, attending my first holiday party alone, getting some more bad news about my mom's condition and just feeling overwhelmingly alone. I miss him so much. I feel like I'm faking it when I say that I'm moving on slowly, taking it one day at a time, keeping busy, bettering myself for that next great thing. I'm not. The real me, buried under deep layers of what I think other people expect me to be, is feeling that I've lost the love of my life and nothing will ever be the same again. I had an unbelievably strong urge to call him today, and although I know he wouldn't mind, especially in light of the situation with my mom, it's not a good idea. I'm going to go to my EAP counselor session and see what they have to say before I do anything like that. Today I am very sad. I hope tomorrow will be better.

Healing Prayer

A friend of mine is currently on her 4 over 5 and recently spent time in Iona, Scotland. She posted a Celtic prayer on her blog that I've slightly modified (changed O God to O spirit), as I'm not overly religious. It's very comforting to me at this time.

Circle me, O spirit.
Keep hope within,
Despair without.

Circle me, O spirit.
Keep peace within,
Keep turmoil out.

Circle me, O spirit.
Keep strength within,
Keep weakness out.

I have to believe that there is a plan for me, and that I have the strength to wait patiently for it to unfold.

Choir Concert

Today's performance of Bach's Oratorio went very well. It's not the most heavily scored for choir, so there was a lot of sitting around, but the orchestra is great, so there was lots of entertainment. My flute teacher was principal flute on this gig, so it was a treat to listen to her play. There's a beautiful alto/flute 8va duet and it was lovely. It was very hard to look out into the audience and know that he wasn't there, especially with the trumpets soaring in the background. In that moment I missed him so much it was excruciating. I just wish things would hurry up and play out the way they are supposed to so I can get on with my life.

1st set back

I've got to get used to the idea that there will be good days and bad days. While watching a lighthearted romantic comedy, I started to cry (as I often do at these kinds of movies) and it turned into a full fledged bawl. I cried for a lot of things, love, loneliness, mistakes, good times, the past, the future, broken hearts and grief. I feel so drained and overwhelmed by these powerful feelings, it's like drowning. The dress rehearsal for the choir concert was so hard today. We are performing Bach's xmas oratorio, and it features three trumpets. I was so looking forward to looking out and seeing him in the audience, knowing that he was hearing spectacular trumpet music. And then, ironically enough, Paul (the musician who played the last post at my school's remembrance day assembly and went to Western as well) is playing third trumpet in the concert. I went up to say hi, and mentioned that we had a mutual aquaintance, and he told me a funny story. The feelings evoked by that little story were unbearable. It was exactly him, to the T. Afterwards, when I was some distance away, I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I know everything is supposed to happen for a reason, but right now, I can't for the life of me think what that reason could be.

1 week down

Well I made it through the 1st week. I'm pretty proud of myself, because if you had asked me earlier in the week I wouldn't have been so sure. It's been tough, I've had good moments and not so good moments but that's to be expected. I have to take my second injection of Humira tonight and I'm a little worried to be doing it all on my own, but I have to get used to the fact that I am alone now. It's a pretty painful injection but it supposedly yields great results. I'll know for sure in another couple of months. I suffered my first attack of really engulfing loneliness tonight, brought on my thinking about my injection and about being alone on Xmas eve. I keep waiting for it to pass, but I think I may be riding this one out for a little longer. Hopefully I'll wake up tomorrow in a better state of mind.

I'm exhausted!

Haven't blogged in a couple of days because I've been so tired. Mental, physical, emotional and intellectual exhaustion, like I've never felt before. It's very true that you can wear yourself out, last night I slept like a rock, waking just before my alarm. I'm not looking forward to my final root canal installment tomorrow, but it'll be a welcome distraction. I'm learning a little more about myself everyday, learning to accept my role in everything that has happened but to also not blame myself entirely. It definitely takes two. Hopefully Grey's Anatomy will be a tear jerker for even more release.

Day 5

Oooooh, I'm mad. Mad, mad mad. Mad at the fact that I can't stop crying when I tell new people, mad that I still think getting back together is a good idea, mad that I can't shake the feelings of uncertainty about my future. I know I'm being too hard on myself, that this is a process that I must go though in order to come out the other side a better person, ready to love again. But I need details! How long, how much, who, what, where, when and how? The finality of it all rocks me to my very core. It's only Day 5 and I'm sick of this! Yet another thing I'm mad about. At the very least I'm in good company. Two of my friends are going through very recent break ups. Work is a nightmare, it's definitely the last place I want to be right now. I'm trying to keep the thinking and rehashing down to a minimum, only in my nightly blog. I'm hopeful that after a week of blogging everyday, I'll be able to do it bi-weekly or weekly. I do feel I've made a bit of progress, but get very frustrated when I slip back. I am absolutely exhausted though, so to that end, am off to bed.

Day 4

Today I woke up angry, I mean really angry. Punching the pillows angry. Thinking about the upcoming holiday season is what did it. All the parties and family gatherings, the pitying looks as people try to come up with something to say to me. "You're a great girl, there's something better around the corner", "It just wasn't meant to be", "time heals all wounds" or my personal favorite (heavy on the sarcasm here) "it's his loss". Then I went to school, which is already not my favorite place to be, and cried three times before the morning bell. Got through the morning and spent the next six hours feeling glib. Don't know where that emotion came from, perhaps I was just sick and tired of feeling sad, mad and hurt. Talked with a couple of friends after choir tonight and bantered some interesting thoughts around such as compartmentalisation and red flags that were missed. We also had a few unrelated laughs. I have good friends, for which I am so grateful. All this emotional upheaval is exhausting, so I'm off to bed.

Day 3

Here's a wise tip. Never go see a fairytale movie when your life is currently anything but a happy ending. It's not very helpful. Also, don't spend time with people who are in the flush of new love, it's hard to hold up. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for my sister, and think her new boyfriend is great. Unfortunately, that doesn't make things any easier. I've held back the tears 4 times today, and had 3 full on uncontrollable cries. Every time one of my friends offers help, I am so overwhelmed by their kind concern that it makes me lose it all over again. I am so grateful for their support. I told my mother today, which was very hard. She has been through a tough time herself, and is still struggling. I felt very guilty laying my problems on her, when she is fighting to stay on top of a life threatening illness. She knew right away that something was wrong, a mothers instinct. I waver between emotions faster than you can say the word, sadness, relief, loneliness, disbelief, anger, frustration and emptiness. There's physical pain too, my heart hurts and my stomach heaves. I've read dozens of online articles about the stages of grief and am trying to follow the advice, but it's very hard. I don't know which thoughts are rational and real and which are delusional and unrealistic. I can only hope for the best and try to take it day by day.

Day 2

I woke up this morning and was hit with an overwhelming feeling of disbelief. I thought for a minute that I was dreaming, but it is so very real. I hurt so much! I really didn't think it was possible to feel this much pain. I distract myself but it's only temporary, the pain comes flooding back at the most inopportune times. I'm prone to tears with very little provocation. My condo is a minefield of memories. I know I'm not the first person to go through this, and certainly won't be the last, but it feels so fresh and raw. I'm sure similar words have appeared on similar blogs, diaries, books, tv shows and movies. It's a universal truth told by the brokenhearted. Time is the master of healing, writing and crying are outlets. I hope to use my blog to heal, and to serve as a reminder of this process. I miss him so much, it feels like the path of least pain is get back together. Of course it would only make sense if it were mutual, and to that end I have no way of knowing how he is feeling. I also don't know if it would even be the right solution. I only know that I love him and he loves me, yet we are apart. This is the biggest test of letting go I have ever faced. It is the first step in managing my need for control over every little detail and most importantly, laying aside my insecurities. I don't know how to do this, how to cut myself off from my best friend, my lover, my confidante, my support, my partner. It's like cutting off my own limb. It feels like every word I write is like a cliche, something I have read or heard before. I can only hope my story has something new to say soon.

November 2007 Books and Movies

Beowulf

Very cool! The screenplay was by Neil Gaiman, so there was just enough weird and wonderful to hold my attention. The digitisation of the action was really interesting, and made everyone look flawless. The aging was especially well done. The creatures were fantastic and the special effects seamless, due to the animation. Glad I went!

Dedication
Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus

I love a good chick lit novel and had enjoyed the Nanny Diaries and Citizen Girl so was psyched when given an advance copy of this one. I found Katie a touch frustrating, with her indecisiveness and general whinging, but was happy with the ending. The 80s and 90s references were spot on, although, if Katie was 30 in 2005, she would have attended high school from 1989 to 1994, so calling this an 80s novel is a bit misleading. It was great to read about the early 90s, it's a rare topic! A nice breezy read, good for when you need a light distraction.

Bee Movie

Very cute and funny. Some of the jokes aimed at adults were hysterical. The kid jokes were heavy on the bee puns, but funny all the same. I found the people characters were a little under drawn both in form and dialogue. It was as if the creators had put so much effort into the bee world, they ran out of time for the people. I'm still surprised this is the first time Jerry Seinfeld has done something since the TV show. It's a great comeback, go see it!

My heart is breaking...

November 30th from 1-2pm is going to stay with me forever. 1 year, 2 months and 13 days. Seems like so little time, but it really was a lot. For me anyway. I know I can get better. I know I can be the woman that I'm meant to be and not be bogged down by the parts of me that are inexcusable. I can only hope that our paths will cross again someday and that I can show him. Friends or more, it will turn out the way it is meant to, I hope. It hurts so much I can't even think.

My Birthday!

Had a great bday weekend with a party, some Mike time and dinner and cake (homemade!) at Amy's today. This year was a bit strange because it actually snowed yesterday. That hasn't happened since I was a little girl! Another year older, but it doesn't feel like it. I had an easy day at school, and left as soon as I could to enjoy the rest of the day. Now winter can officially start!

October 2007 Books and Movies

Practical Demonkeeping
Christopher Moore

What a great book! I mistakenly thought that, as this was Christopher Moore's first novel, that it wouldn't be as good as the others (only have one more to go) I have read. I finished the last page and said to myself "What a great writer. I can't believe he just sat down and wrote that book, having never being been a published author before". Having read his latest novel about Pine Cove (The Stupidest Angel) first and then The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove, I now understand so much more about the inner quirky workings of this setting. Loved the twist and turns, great characters (he should return to Augustus Brine and Gian Djinn for another tale) and fast pace. A definite must read for Moore fans and newbies alike.

Death at a Funeral

Absolutely hilarious! Great British humour, wonderfully acted, bizarro plot twists and a great way to spend a couple of hours! Appreciate the subtleties, they are worth watching again and again. I was really impressed with Alan Tudyk, he has a killer British accent and is hilarious as Simon. Go see it!

Island of the Sequined Love Nun
Christopher Moore

Started off slowly, but got better and better. I read The Stupidest Angel first, so it was interesting to see where the character Tucker Case got his beginnings. Another funny and twisted novel from Christopher Moore. He has the zanniest ideas, it's a wonder where he comes up with them. I seriously thought he was making up Yap, Truk and Micronesia, but they really do exist! Aluahu doesn't though. Beth was scary. Sarapul was hilarious. Roberto, need I say more? Read it and laugh!

Unlikely Destinations - The Lonely Planet Story
Tony and Maureen Wheeler

Let me start off by saying that I'm a huge fan of Lonely Planet guide books. They have helped me have wonderful travel experiences and have gotten me out of more than a few jams. That being said, this autobiography is very poorly written. It's voice (mostly Tony's) is poncy and it's tone is completely disjointed. I found the information interesting, but it is laid out in a really terrible way. I'll still use the guidebooks, but I'll be wary of any more novels from these authors. I think they'll lose some of the respect they have earned from world wide travelers, just because this book is so sub par.

Three Wishes
Liane Moriarty

This was a chance find at the Burlington Central Public Library. I just liked the cover. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I liked the story inside as well. Chick lit, Aussie style, with quirky characters that you actually care about. The contrived coincidences were a bit much at times and Cat's temper made my head hurt but all in all, I enjoyed it very much.

Rush Hour 3

Silly and fun. The acting was a bit forced, but what more than made up for it was the action sequences. Jackie Chan is amazing, as were many of the other fight actors. Chris Tucker is one funny guy, and I'm doubly impressed by his altruistic efforts in Africa between movies. I haven't seen 1 or 2, but now I want to, wooden acting aside.

I love my bike!

I biked 27.6 km today! (Yes I calculated it using google maps, I just had to know.) My route to school is 8.3 km so I bike 16.6 everyday I go to school by bike. This week has been a poor showing, as it threatened to rain everyday, but I did ride today and yesterday. Today I went a few more places than usual. I guess the most grueling part of my ride to school is that it is up Kingston Road every morning. Some days are better than others, that is for sure! Love the ride home, coasting down that big hill. Did I mention I love riding my bike? It's great to be alone with your thoughts, not zoned out in a book or with your iPod. Of course, there are some downsides: cars, pollution, severe head winds, inclement weather, but it's rewarding to get around on your own speed. I'm going to be sad when the snow comes!

Woefully neglecting my Blog

I know it's been a long time. I could blame it on a number of things, work, facebook, social life, band, choir etc. but that would be a screen. I just haven't had the inclination to blog, plain and simple.

So here I go with a brief synopsis:

Work:

I'm at my 5th school in 4 years, so again, it's slow going with finding out where I fit into this new dynamic. I'm teaching at a school in a well to do area, which brings with it a whole other set of challenges than a school with lower socio-economics. My assignment this year is half Core French (grades 4, 5 and 6) and half Vocal Music (grades K to 6). Interestingly, the staff are all female, which is something I've never encountered. I have to say, I prefer a mixed gender staff, and also feel for the boys, who have no male teacher role models.

Health:

I have switched drugs once again, and am in my 2nd month. I feel very well and bike to work most days. My wrists are still a little sore, but overall, I'm doing so well that I even forgot to take my medication once, because I've had few symptoms to remind me. Unfortunately, I haven't achieved full remission, but am hopeful still. My next appointment is November 20th, so we'll see what my doctor has to say.

Relationships:

The advent of Facebook has brought me closer to some people, further away from others and has actually had a tangible impact. I'm amazed that a website could actually change my social life, but it's true. I'm not an addict as some are, but do enjoy the unexpected tidbits from old and new acquaintances.

Mike and I celebrated one year together, on September 17th. I'm frankly in awe of reaching this significant milestone, as I have only done it once before, and that was 13 years ago. Like any relationship, it has it's ups and downs, but is by far the healthiest one I've ever been in, and for those who know me well, that is saying a lot.

Outlook:

Fairly positive. I still have my days, but am focusing on recongnising when my energies are negative and redirecting them. I get to think a lot while on my bike, which has been good for me. When I take the TTC, I tend to zone out, with my iPod, a book or both, and don't actually spend time with my own thoughts. I'm making a concerted effort to work on my self-esteem, which has taken a nose dive due to all of the above categories. I know I cannot do it on my own, and to that end, I'm looking for assistance as well. Reading helps a lot whether it be related or for pleasure.

I'm glad I've updated, reading this over has reminded me that I actually enjoy blogging and really should do it more often!

September 2007 Books and Movies

Stuck in Downward Dog
Chantel Simmons

Well, let's start with the parts I did like. Yoga and the setting. Reading about places, streets and events that were set in Toronto was very cool. I've never read a book set in my Toronto, which this felt like it was. The parts I didn't like were the way Mara let her friends treat her and than she was utterly clueless about all that was going wrong for her. I guess that was the author's attempt at humour, but I'm not a fan of the bumbling idiot routine. A nice, light read, but no Sophie Kinsella novel.

Stardust

This was a fun two hours. I have loved Neil Gaiman ever since a friend introduced me to Neverwhere. Some of it was slightly predictable and I wasn't a fan of a couple of the actor choices, but the special effects were great and the story is very engaging. Claire Danes has a very passable English accent, I was impressed. Not since The Princess Bride have I enjoyed a fantasy/fairy tale so much.

Team Rodent
Carl Hiaasen

Reading this just confirmed what I already thought, that if Disney ever did a movie about the proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing, it would be autobiographical. At 83 pages, this is a quick and easy read, so you can make up your own mind about whether Disney is good or evil.

Teach With Your Heart - Lessons I learned from the Freedom Writers
Erin Gruwell

This memoir helped me understand the pieces that make up the Freedom Writers story, both in the film and in the book that inspired the film. I like details and specifics and I now know what was embelished, taken out of context and switched around to make a more dramatic story. She has been very very lucky. I do admire her work ethic, but she has had many advantages and lucky breaks along the way. It would be difficult to replicate her success without some of her amazing contacts. At first I thought Erin Gruwell was too idealistic, and copped out by leaving high school and going on to teach at the college level without trying to replicate her success. By reading her memoir I understand the choices she made a little better. She is simply too famous to teach in a regular high school. All the kids would be clamouring to be in her class, and, once there, would have an unfair advantage over others.

This is a great way to follow up with this story if you've read the collection of diaries and seen the movie Freedom Writers. This memoir explains many things that were left out and actually reads in the order of events that happened. The writing is a tad weak, and a bit soppy and self serving, but I was still left with the impression that this person was able to help so many and will continue to do so for the rest of her life.

The Nanny Diaries

Boo hoo! Nothing like the book! I didn't expect it to be, but it was still good anyway. The Alicia Keys character was pretty pointless, and she wasn't able to give it enough 'ooph' to make me care about her. Scarlett Johansson is a creat comic actor and pratfalls so well. Laura Linny was great as Mrs. X. An enjoyable couple of hours. Read the book!

Hairspray

Put a smile on my face and kept me bopping in my seat for over 2 hours! John Travolta and Amanda Bynes were highlights. It was fun to identify where in Toronto it was filmed, I'm pretty sure that was CALC high school at Broadview and Danforth. The music is stick in your head fantastic!

August 2007 Books and Movies

Fluke
Christopher Moore

Took a while to get into (I can see why Mike gave up on it halfway through) but then, wham, it turns into a classic Chris Moore gem. The stuff this guy comes up with. Whale ships? Whaley boys? Goo? What a great ride. Oh, and I learned a lot about cetacean biology too! Makes me want to go out and watch whales. A solid book.

Mostly Martha

Ok, so what I wrote about No Reservations, double and triple the praise for Mostly Martha which is the original German film that was remade. Absolutely brilliant! The simple nuanced acting, the location and the food preparation/presentation make it great to watch. I wish I had seen this first, because I wanted to be surprised by the plot, but it was still good.

The Simpsons - The Movie

Much funnier than I thought it would be! Sort of like watching an extended episode on the big screen, but I laughed quite a bit. It would have been just as good as a rental. No need to see it on the big screen. The nudie Bart skateboarding scene was hysterical.

No Reservations

Very cute. Not always a fan of rom coms but this one was better than most. I really like the little girl, Abigail Breslin, who was in Little Miss Sushine. I almost always enjoy Catherine Zeta Jones and have always loved, Patricia Clarkson, ever since I saw her as Ruth's sister in Six Feet Under. Laughed and even cried a litte, and that, for me, is always a sure sign of a good movie.

The Bourne Ultimatum

Very cool. Ties the story together nicely with a tonne of action. Matt Damon is great and it was nice to see Julia Stiles. I read that she was off the scene for a little while doing indies, producing and directing. It's helpful to see the other two movies in the to make sense of the plot. Go see it!

July 2007 Books and Movies

North Country

Wow, what a movie. Charlize Theron is amazing. My stomach curdled at the abuse and harrassment suffered by these women who were only trying to earn a living. They were increadibly strong to stay at the mine when no one would stand up for them. Woody Harrelson was somewhat of a weak link for me but Frances McDormand was spectacular. I've loved her ever since I saw Fargo. This film made me very glad that I am living in the present and can only hope that the emancipation of women moves ever forward.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
J.K. Rowlings

This book was all I could have asked for and more. J.K. Rowlings tied everything together, answered all my questions and brought in aspects from the other books. The ending was spectacular and I'm double crossing my fingers that she has left the door open for more. I think she has, but one never knows. I'm sad and happy at the same time because the book journey is over, but there are still two more movies to go. I was so glad that she made Snape a sympathetic character in the end, I really didn't want to hate him. The book droops a little in the middle but bounces back and steamrolls to the end after the appearance of the silver doe. I read it to the exclusion of all else, staying up through the night to finish. My first instinct was to pick it up and read it again. I think I'll go back to the begining and read from one to seven in order.

You Suck
Christopher Moore

Well it shouldn't have come as a surprise to me, after not loving Bloodsucking Fiends, that I wouldn't love You Suck. I know, I must be one of the few people on the planet who feels this way. It's not that I didn't like it, it was a good read, I just wasn't as into the characters. I much prefer the residents of Pine Cove to the San Fran crowd, I think. There were definitely some laugh out loud parts, I'd like to see a story centred around Abby Normal and her friend Lily, the girl who works for Charlie Asher in a Dirty Job. In fact, bring them up to Pine Cove, and throw in the Lust Lizard and the Stupidest Angel, now that would be funny!

Ratatouille

Absolutely one of the best movies I've seen this summer. In typical Pixar fashion, the words are for adults and the action is for kids. I'm not a huge fan of rats, but I found Remy cute. Loved Janeane Garofalo, as always. Great cooking and a Paris backdrop just topped it off. Go see it!

Blood Sucking Fiends
Christopher Moore

I knew it would happen eventually, that I would come across a Moore book that just didn't do it for me as much as the other. That being said, I still read it cover to cover in a matter of days. I think I just don't really like vampire lore too much. Although, reading this book made me realise that the mysterious woman buying up all the soul vessels in a Dirty Job was Jody. She and C. Thomas Flood are an odd couple but they really love each other. I'm starting to enjoy the Emperor a lot more. There were quite a few funny scenes, the turkey bowling made me laugh out loud! Looking forward to the sequel, You Suck, to see what happens next.

Harry Potter - The Order of the Phoenix

Loved, loved, loved this movie! It was all that I expected and more. I was a bit nervous about it because the book is so long, but the director really managed to convey all the important parts of the story in just over two hours. The additional casting was amazing, look for Helena Bohnam Carter to knock your socks off. They just got it so right. I will be seeing it again and again, and anxiously awaiting it's arrival on DVD. One of the best HP films so far.

The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove
Christopher Moore

Okay, I'm starting to sound like a broken record. I love this guy. This book was laugh out loud funny especially the weird, twisted encouters between Molly Michon and the Sea Beast. Where does he come up with this stuff? Again, love the fact that he uses the same characters from other novels, but especially the fact that you don't have to read them in order to understand the relationships. I first encoutered the characters from Pine Cove in The Stupidest Angel, but this book takes place before then. Great read, so funny and I was shocked at some of the things that made me laugh. I guess I'm a little twisted after all!

Sicko

Brilliant! I love Michael Moore films. I know he can be manipulative to the extreme sometimes, but to be honest, I enjoy the ride. I don't want to give to much away, but leads with some of the salient points from his previous films, profiles some of the better healthcare systems in the first world (of which Canada is one) and highlights a number of deficits in the American system. He uses a lot of humour to diffuse the tension, as always, but I found that I really laughed out loud at some parts.
Another great one from Mr. Moore.

The Odd Couple (1968)

I can't believe I have never seen this movie! So funny! I love Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau and have seen most of their later films. Grumpy Old Men is one of my favorites. The characters are perfect foils for one another and Neil Simon is a great playwright. I'm glad I turned on the TV by chance. Turner Movie Classics is a great channel, no commercials and really great movies.

Arthritis Update

Haven't posted about this in a while, but it's because I've been feeling so much better. Still a touch stiff in the the mornings when I've not been getting enough rest or over exerting myself, but my pain is much diminished and my stomach is more or less back to normal. My last visit to Dr. Jamal on May 2nd saw an up in my dose of Methotrexate to one full cc. Generally, any new drugs/dosages take full effect in 3 months. My next appointment is July 31, so I still have almost a month to go. I'm hopeful that this will kick me over the edge into remission as my wrists are the only joints that are swollen. I still can't weight bear though, which is disappointing. I went for a mini run (30 minutes) of 2s and 1s on the treadmill yesterday and survived. The bursitis in my left knee has flared up though, so I think running is still not yet in the cards. Oh, well, back in the pool I guess. I've found that I'm able to bike ok, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it everyday. Still in the testing stage. All in all, good progress made and keeping positive about maximum improvement.

Great Canada Day long weekend!

Friday Night:

Volunteered at the Delfeyeo Marsalis/ Joshua Redman show at the TD Toronto Jazz Festival. Got to meet Delfeyeo, he was very nice. What a player, he did this magical rendition of What a Wonderful World, it was stunning. Then went on to The Rex to see Emilie Claire Barlow. What a show! She is one of my favorite singers, I just loved her rendition of Gentle Rain.

Saturday

Went to Gary's 60th bash in Port Perry. Great food, cute town, lot of fun. There is a minutures/dollhouse store there that I have to check out the next time I'm there.

Sunday

Played in a massed band to open the new BMO Soccer Stadium. Love cool gigs like this, where I get to go to places I wouldn't ordinarily be able to walk across. The field is really a great addition to Toronto's sports scene.

Monday

High tea at the Fairmont Royal York. Tres chic! They've gone back to a traditional tea, circa 1907. Until recently they've been doing an Asian Fusion tea that I had wanted to try, but maybe they'll bring it back someday. Nevermind, I love the trad tea so much and have only been to the one at the King Eddy. Afterwards, took a ferry ride to Centre Island and walked to Hanlan's Point. Haven't been to the islands in a while, so it was a lovely finish to the afternoon after all that rich tea food.

June 2007 Books and Movies

The Year of Yes
Maria Dahvana Headley

Great book about opening your mind and possibly finding love along the way. Many times during my LL adventures I had to remind myself that a date requires an open mind to see if anything is there. I admire her attitude and bravery, she certainly dated some unusual characters. A mime, a homeless guy who thought he was the re-incarnation of Jimi Hendrix, a 70 year old Salsa dancer who only spoke Spanish, to name a few. An intriguing, smart and humorously self-deprecating read. She must be one great playwright, can't wait to read some more of her work.

Knocked Up

Pretty good, but be warned, the f-word is used ridiculously often and there are some very graphic scenes. They didn't quite get the balance right between the humour and the drama. Katherine Heigle was good, it was weird to see her playing a character other than Izzy Stevens. Not as good as The 40 Year Old Virgin but there were some really great moments.

The Stupidest Angel
Christopher Moore

Loved it!!!! Funny, strange, disturbing, kooky and fantastic. I love, love, love this writer. I am a little obsessed... :) Can't wait to read everything else he's written, especially the ones that feature characters that are in this book. I'm one of those strange people who doesn't think that Xmas is the greatest holiday, usually, I am done with it almost before it starts. I don't want to give anything away, but Santa takes a shovel upside the head to kick things off. It's fairly short and a really easy read so go read it!

It's the Little Things...

Yessssss! Ms Vickie's has introduced a new flavour of chips, "aged cheddar and spring onion". Seven years after discovering Walkers Cheese and Onion crisps in the UK, and only getting to taste them once in a while from the great import shop in downtown Oakville, they are on regular shelves. But, of course, only in moderation! Very tasty...try them out!

May 2007 Books and Movies

Pirates of the Carribean: World's End

Finally, a 3rd sequel that was good! I have loved this entire series from the first movie. I think Orlando Bloom has something to do with it! :) This installment was a tad long at almost 3 hours and I would definitely recommend re-watching the first two movies before hand. I had no idea what was going on for the first half hour, they don't give you much back story. Keith Richards was freakin' hilarious. Even if you don't like the franchise, he'll make you laugh. If there was anyone who needed the least possible makeup to become a pirate, it's him. Stay until after the end credits for an extra scene, it's actually relevant, unlike the one at the end of Pirates II. When it comes out on DVD, it'll be cool to watch the three back to back.

A Girl Named Zippy: Growing Up Small in Mooreland Indiana
Haven Kimmel

Great throwback memoir to a quieter time. Kimmel is a master of metaphor and descriptive writing. It's a little sleepy to start but as you move through the book, the characters are fleshed out and the it starts to roll along. I was actually surprised when it ended, I was expecting more. Not for everyone, especially if you want a hectic plot, but for those of us who love language, it's a treat.

A Dirty Job
Christopher Moore

Love it, loved it, loved it! Took a little while to get into, because I didn't get some of the death lore in the begining, but the story explains what it's talking about so well, that it all started to make sense. Funny, laugh out loud at times, disturbing and creative, from his creative metaphors to his descriptions of San Francisco this guy is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors. I also really like the way he brings minor characters from previous novels into subsequent storylines. Minty Fresh, a great lesser character from Coyote Blue has a much larger role as a Death Merchant in this one. The fact that the evil forces of darkness are funny is great. Loved Charlie Asher and the whole concept of the Beta Male. A definite must read.

Shrek the Third

Oh when will I ever learn that seqels usually suck! It wasn't walk out of theatre bad, but I hardly laughed at all. The new improved animation tricks were pretty cool. The jokes were almost all geared toward adults, I have no idea how a kid could find anything to laugh at, although maybe the sight gags were enough. Justin Timberlake was pretty awful. The original Shrek is still the best, but I know I would go to another one if it were made. I am such a sucker!

Spiderman III

Not as good as the first two. Still liked the first one the best. Too many villans, not enough plot, the usual contrivances. I don't even read the comic books and knew that it didn't ring true. Still like Toby and that Franco kid is pretty hot. The CGI stuff was cool, especially the black suit. I couldn't believe the age of some of the kids that were in the theatre. One of them, must have been around 3 or 4, fell asleep, the woke up with a start at a particulary violent part and started screaming. Poor kid, what were his parents thinking? Glad I saw it, but wouldn't see it again unless someone else chose to rent it as a dvd. Hopefully they'll stop at 3 and not kill it with a pointless 4th movie that has none of the original actors in it.

Hot Fuzz

Laugh out loud hilarious. Well worth the price of admission and a second screening! I'm not usually a big fan of gore, but this film was so funny that the blood didn't bother me so much. Really want to see Shaun of the Dead now, just for the two actors who pair up again in this movie. Apparently they are best friends in real life. I've always loved films set in the UK and the southern sleepy village chosen was perfect. The fast paced shots and camera movements were interesting although a little hard on the eyes. Great, definitely go see it!

A Good Ole Fashioned Drive In Movie!

I've only ever been to one drive in and that was in university for a 4 movie extravaganza. We stayed all night and fell asleep for parts of it. This time, we went to Pirates of the Carribbean - At World's End at the drive in on 9th line in Oakville. This place is like a time warp. You can tell it's been around for eons and the people who go there have been doing it in their families for generations. The theatre plays ads from the 50s for a retro kitch feel and the old listening posts have been left in place to mark the parking spots. Unfortunately, the invention of the hatchback SUV and minivan make for less than stellar viewing as ignorant and or rude people don't care if they are blocking anyone's view. It's cool that you pay for two movies, but in our case, the second one was a boring teen flick, so we left.

Even though it's almost the end of May, I'm going to include my review for Pirates III here:

Good special effects, great costumes, confusing plot (couldn't recall the last two movies that well, recommend you watch them beforehand if you have the time) and make sure you stay until the last of the end credits have played for an additional scene. There is an obvious opening for a fourth movie, but I can't imagine Johnny Depp would make that kind of artistic choice. It's pretty long at 2 hours and 50 minutes, which was not so fun while cramped in a car. One of these days I'll have to watch the three back to back on DVD just so I can follow the plot better. The first movie is still the best, as usual, but this third one was highly watchable especially with Orlando Bloom burning up the celuloid.

New Short Hair for summer!

Love this cut. It'll be nice not to have hair sticking to the back of my neck during the hot days of summer.

Gaaahhhh, what were they THINKING!

Melinda, Melinda, Melinda...you were robbed! By a youth obsessed culture (you are only 29 for crying out loud) with no taste. Jordan is clearly too young for her instant fame, and Blake would have made an excellent number 2 to your talent. It's a crying shame, the finale is going to be boring, dull and dismal. Hope you make an album! Although I have never bought any recording made by an Idol finalist, I would buy yours. Judge Jru will be so disappointed.

Facebook

The social networking site that has taken the world (and definitely Toronto - which has been named facebook captial of the world) by storm. Can't sleep and have a few things to get off my chest about it.

Positives:

Re-connect with old friends
Get updates on how people are doing
User friendly and a good way to while away time

Negatives:

Somewhat addictive
Feel like I'm in high school again, with all the people adding and deleting themselves on my list
Shocked by some of the people who are not interested in adding me as their friend, even though there is an obvious connection (well I guess to me, not to them).

I've thought about some stuff.

I am at the top of most people's lists because my last name starts with "A". When a person's pic and name come up every time you click on your friends list and you say "oh, I'm not really friends with her, why is she on my list again?", it's easy to hit delete.

I don't need to be e-friends with people who don't want to be e-friends with me. In fact I don't need to be friends with them in real life either.

I shouldn't take it to heart, there are always other reasons for things.

These are all good things to think about, and a healthy way to look at using a site that can at times be hurtful or confusing. Here's the thing though...I still feel bad when certain things happen. I need to look at the fact that this isn't necessarily the healthiest site to be participating on. But then again, lavalife was no picnic much of the time and I managed to get through that.

I'm just confused, frustrated, perplexed, wondering and flabbergasted at some of the facebook goings on.

Feel better now that I've vented.

April 2007 Books and Movies

Around the World in 80 Dates
Jennifer Cox

I knew I would like this book by the title. The combination of romance and travel is exhilarating and right up my alley. I didn't expect to love this book. Even though at times Cox is a bit repetitive, (eg: overuse of the word ubiquitous) her world wide search for a Soul Mate is great reading. She makes some important self discoveries that really resounded with me. Reading this book caused me to reflect on my own life, what I want, what I need and who I love. An absolute must read for anyone, with or without a soul mate. Not too girly, so men will find it accessible, and doesn't read like a guide book. Really enjoyed it!

The Hopeless Romantic's Handbook
Gemma Townley

I really like this author, but this was not one of my favorite books. It was funny, and I zipped through it, but not with the same enthusiam. I didn't really get into the character of Kate, and knew from the first page who she was going to end up with in the end. I really hate predictability in books. I did enjoy the reality/home makeover show story line, which placed the story firmly in this decade. The sub plots seemed gratuitous and resolved themselves a little too compactly. All in all, too formulaic.

Forever in Blue: the Fourth Summer of the Sisterhood
Ann Brashares

Final installment of this series. With all the hype, I was expecting it to be a nice rounded off ending for the four girls. In reality it seemed like an open ended book, that invited a sequel, even though the author has said this is definitely the end of the series. Just seems a bit commercial to me. The girls' characters weren't really as fleshed out as they had been in the past, and the pants weren't as important to the story line. Carmen didn't even get a romantic storyline, which seemed strange. It seemed that the series had already finished with the 3rd book and this last one was written because of fan pressure and for money.

Coyote Blue
Christopher Moore

Weird. Good. Weird. Funny. Definitely weird. This guy is some author. I'm looking forward to reading more from him. I really liked the native trickster storyline and absolutely laughed out loud at some parts. Really quick-paced and cerebral. I also liked the darkness, which surprised me. Maybe I do have a touch of goth in me after all.

Clerks (DVD)

I can't believe I had never seen this movie! It was hilarious! I loved the low budget look, fast dialogue and general quirkyness. I've seen other Kevin Smith features and really liked them. I heard that Clerks II wasn't quite as good, we'll see. Loved the line "I'm not even supposed to be here today!", cracked me up everytime. The dead guy tenting made me laugh out loud. Saturday morning well spent...thanks Janet!

The Culture Code - An Ingenious Way to Understand Why People Around the World Live and Buy as they Do
Clotaire Rapaille

As far as convenient theories for the masses go, this one was pretty interesting. Rapaille asserts that consumers buy products based on applied codes from their subconcious. Born in France, he considers himself an American so the majority of codes are for these two countries. Some of the more interesting ones are these:

American Code for Sex = VIOLENCE
American Code for Food = FUEL
American Code for Fat = CHECKING OUT
American Code for Health = MOVEMENT
American Code for the American Presidency = MOSES

Here's an interesting comparison:

American Code for the USA = FREEDOM
Canadian Code for Canada = TO KEEP (our culture from changing)

It was a fast entertaining read, especially when Rapaille found ways to make everything fit jigsaw like into his theory.

Shopaholic and Baby
Sophie Kinsella

Waaaa! I love this series and was left with a ho hum feeling after this installment. As much as I hate to admit it, I think the Becky (nee Bloomwood) Brandon story is just about done. Things were much more exciting when you wanted to yell at the pages of the book when she was spending out of control. Now her and Luke are so well off, it doesn't seem like her spending is too bad. Kinsella is in good form as ever, the writing is tight and the story spins its tale well. I think, like the heady feeling of a first kiss, the first book is in a league of its own and won't be topped no matter how many books come afterwards. Still enjoyable and still will read anything this author commits to print.

Reign Over Me

Love Don Cheadle and he didn't disappoint. Adam Sandler often pulls off dramatic roles, I really liked him in Punch Drunk Love and The Wedding Singer. Here he plays a man who has lost his entire family in 9/11 and has disconnected from the rest of the world. He meets up with Cheadle, who was his college roomate and begins to re-enter the world again. I don't want to give away too much, but parts of it are really sad. Bring tissues!

Wild Hogs

Stupid, stupid, William H. Macy is always good, stupid. That about sums this movie up. Laughed a few times, but not enough to make it worth a look in the theatre. Rent it if you must...

Zlata's Diary - A Child's Life in Wartime Sarejevo
Zlata Filipović

Hailed as a modern day Anne Frank, this young girl chronicles 2 years of war in Sarejevo. Though not as compelling as Anne Frank, it is really interesting to read about a modern war and its effect on ordinary people. Both mature beyond her years and childlike in her simple mantra for peace and an end to war, Zlata draws you in, until you finish the diary. A good read for students grades 5-9, when studying the history of conflict.

Busy Concert Weekend

The choir I sing with, the Toronto Classical Singers (TCS) just finished our last concert of the season and it was a great way to end the year. We performed Ralph Vaughn Williams Sea Symphony, which took a lot of practice, but was well worth it in the end. I was starting to feel a little bored at the TCS, but if we continue to do challenging works like this, it should be much more interesting. Also my voice is getting better all the time, so that is injecting some much needed enthusiasm to my singing as well!

An Arty Weekend

This has been a great weekend full of dancing, music and theatre!

Went to a fundraiser show last night. Linda's cousin is a therapeutic clown who is going on a trip with Patch Adams (a doctor and performer) to Russia's hospices and orphanages. She got together a bunch of her performing friends at the Centre of Gravity (a local clown college) to put on a show. There were other fundraising initiatives, a 50/50 draw, a silent auction and a bake sale. Some performances were amazing (the acrobat who suspends herself using two pieces of silk strung from the ceiling and the didgeridoo player), some were heartfelt (singing and performance art) and some were hysterical (clowning around, some with fire!). The red nose is the smallest mask of all, just putting it on and turning around and looking at the audience can make them laugh. Add other gags and you'll have them rolling in the aisles. A therapeutic clown is slighter gentler, and much more interactive due to the nature of their audience. Anna (the person going to Russia) closed the show with a very funny skit. I loved the eclectic people who were both performing and audience members, the free space where everyone could be who they really were and most of all, the artistic energy. It made me realise how much I miss creating, performing and collaborating. The Centre of Gravity has a number of activities on during the week, which would be a great way to get back in the swing of things.

An Afternoon at the Theatre

Lucy
CanStage - Berkeley Street Theatre

Had the opportunity to see this show last minute and am I glad I did. Excellent cast, writing and topically relevant. The play explores autism and interaction with the story of an autistic child, Lucy, who moves in with her estranged mother. It was funny, touching and thought provoking. The actor playing Lucy (Meg Roe) was phenomenal. I'm looking forward to seeing her in other things. I found it very relevant because this year I have two autistic children in my classes. Autism is a broad spectrum exceptionality so these children respond to myself and my program in various ways and sometimes not at all. I wish I had know about it beforehand, as I would have mentioned it to others at school. A very enjoyable Saturday afternoon.

Cache at Lula Lounge

Went to see my friend Yannick play in his latin jazz band Cache at Lula Lounge tonight. First time I'd ever been to Lula. I used to be pretty crazy into Latin dance, even was seriously taking lessons just before I went to England. I really love to dance still but find that my ankle just doesn't hold up as well, although it held up better than I thought. As usual, although there were a few good male dancers, most of the men were there with their wives/girlfriends and not the greatest dancers. That's the thing, for latin dance, you NEED a partner. Sure I danced by myself and had a good time, but it would have been nice to practise some things that I haven't done in a while such as cross body leads, twirls and dips. But the choice of partners always fall into two categories, scary good that I am too intimidated to ask to dance and really beginer who ask me and then there's no strong lead. Also because asking someone to dance in Latin culture is intrinsically NOT a come on, other men who don't understand this wonder why women don't want to dance with them. Oh for a moderately advanced latin male to dance with, who just wants to DANCE!

March 2007 Books and Movies

Freedom Writers Diary
How a Teacher and 150 Teens Used Writing to Change Themselves and the World Around Them
The Freedom Writers and Erin Gruwell

Better than the movie. I really got into the students journal entries. Some of them were absolutely gut-wrenching. Gruwell's entries were preachy in tone, and a touch self righteous, which is how I felt about the depiction of Gruwell in the film. Good message and well written by the students who evidently learned a lot during the process. The end of the book contained a sneek preview of a memoir based on her first student teaching year at Wilson which was released the same time as the movie. A little too convenient, seemingly to capitalise on the envisioned sucess of the film. It's really great that all proceeds from the book are going to the non-profit organisation founded to re-create the Room 203 classroom environment.

700 Sundays
Billy Crystal

I have always loved this guy! The book is based on his eponymous stage show about the 700 Sundays Crystal spent with his father before he died. He also talks about his family life and early years. I wish I had seen the show, as I'm sure it was hilarious. The writing is fast paced, witty and heartwarming. The book is short but even if it were longer, it would be a quick read. I was amazed to read about some of the people he met, even before he was famous. He is connected to the jazz world through the family business of Commodore records which in itself is incredible. I definitely feel I know a lot more about how one of my favourite actors and commedians came by his love for the art of acting.

Breach

Interesting but not that well made. Gratuitous ending was lame! About the biggest breach in FBI history, an agent who leaked information to the former USSR for over 20 years. Chris Cooper and Laura Linney are great, and Ryan Phillipe was better than expected. I was glad to see Dennis Haysbert (David Palmer on 24) but wish he had a bigger role. To be honest I thought it would be much much better. Worth a DVD rental, but a little slow in parts.

Cinderella Was a Liar
Brenda Della Casa

Pretty good! The Cinderella analogy became very tiresome after oh, about page three, but once you got used to skimming over the constant references to maidens, princes, toads, slippers and cottages, the point of the book comes through loud and clear. Everyone has something to work on to be able to put their best foot forward in a relationship. There's points to be taken, no matter what stage you're at, from falling in love with yourself, to casual dating, to fledging relationships to heading toward significant commitment. Della Casa is a touch aggressive in tone, but it is with good intention. She really seems bent on waking up the masses. At times it borders on condescending, but I find that is true with a lot of self-help books. Worth reading for reflection and for the funny quotes at the end from the men she interviewed during research.

Real Women Have Curves (DVD)

Not so indie now that America Ferrera is a big star on Ugly Betty, but very watchable. The title is a bit strange because it suggests that thin women aren't real. The featurette talks about how the title is more a metaphor that real women curve off in different directions and don't always conform to what is suggested as acceptable in their time. I like that a lot. For me, the film is about acceptance for who you are whatever size. Very nice coming of age story set within Mexican-American culture. I saw a lot of similarities to Italian culture, especially when watching the over-bearing mother. I was really impressed with the acting and the simple yet powerful storytelling. The scene where they all take off their outerclothes is well done, but I couldn't help but notice that they had the biggest women wearing girdles. I'm curious as to if it is a neccesity for comfort or if it was an aesthetic choice by the director. The character Ana is very easy to identify with and the film is extremely strong because of this. Highly enjoyable.

Corktown Chamber Orchestra

Went to see my cousin Rebecca play tonight with her group. It was nice to go out and do something cultural, and as a bonus my other cousin, her sister Sarah, played as well. It was the CCO with three singer songwriters (including Sarah), a few staples of the chamber orchestra rep and an original composition from one of the viola players. The string arrangement the conductor wrote to go along with the first of Sarah's songs was beautiful. Especially the chord progression in the upper strings towards the bridge. I suggested she should record that version and put it on her next album along with the original. Looking forward to the next concert in May!

Being sick is no fun...

Picked up some kind of bug from the kiddies then passed it to Mike. I'm sure he thanks me for that one! :) Not pleasant and a bit scary at times, as Mike was running a pretty high fever on Monday night. We got through it and are feeling better. It was comforting to have someone else, to look out for and to be looked out for by them. Glad we're on the mend!

Lovely Mini Break for March Break

Had a wonderful four day get-away holiday to Montreal and Ottawa with Mike.

Some of the highlights were:

Stayed at the Montreal Ritz-Carlton and ordered room service for the first time.


Went to see the very limited time and city Walt Disney exhibit at Le Musee des Beaux Arts.

(No pics allowed of the exhibit)

Had drinks at the Fairmont Chateau Laurier.


Saw some amazing exhibits at the National War Museum.


It was a little cold...


...but we had a lot of fun!

A trip to the the-ah-tah

Hey, I finally have an opportunity to put to use my thousands of dollars worth of theatre education in my blog! Cool!

Went to see the Soulpepper production of Bertolt Brecht's The Threepenny Opera tonight at the Young Centre for the Performing Arts. This is a new, permanent home for Soulpepper, and an amazing space.

When I read the production review in The Star, I learned that this was Soulpepper's first attempt at musical theatre (intriguing to say the least) and that they had drawn their cast from a variety of theatre disciplines, from street performers to musical theatre to apprentice actors. I really enjoyed Jennifer Villaverde's Lucy who was evidently opera trained.

The band was fantastic, with really talented multi-instrument musicians. Specifically the pianist and the woodwind specialist, who played everything from a piccolo to a tenor sax. Of course the best song was Mac the Knife, but I really enjoyed the all women trio and duet pieces as well.

Brecht has had such an impact on theatre of the 20th century that anything I could write here would sound like a simplification of theatre history. Suffice to say, the terms Brechtian and "epic theatre" describe performances where the audience remains emotionally distant, usually acheived by using alienation techniques. In his day, it was unheard of to break the fourth wall which he did by addressing the audience directly either by speech, song and placards. Soulpepper stripped the stage bare and used visceral props such as hunks of raw meat and cleavers to try and produce the allienation effect as many of the old methods do not work due to audiences' exposure to progressive theatre.

I went to see the production with my uncle, so got a great take on what it was like to watch for purely performance values and not be bogged down by preconceptions and years of professors lectures. Entertainment value was high and laughs were loud. Well worth the price of admission!

New Hair, New Colour

Went for brown/red lowlights instead of shocking red ones...

Speech Pathologist Session

Very interesting! I was taken to a sound-proof room and hooked up to a microphone. She recorded my voice in a bunch of different ways from speaking to singing. I have two pages worth of daily excercises to reduce the scarring. I found the process fascinating, I do believe that deep inside me is a scientist/doctor waiting to get out if only I could jump start the grey cells neccesary to study all the information. She thinks that my voice will improve with the excercises and the arthritis medications. I really hope she is right and that I haven't done permanent dammage to my voice.

February 2007 Books and Movies

Kinky Boots (DVD)

Cute British off-beat flick about a shoe factory fighting to stay in business. They find a niche market in making fetish footwear for men but the small town mentality is hampering their efforts. The message of tolerance and acceptance is well put, but the bashing over the head with symbolism is a little much. I like home grown British fare, so enjoyed it very much.

Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys
Dave Barry

Not as funny as expected. It's very topical and written 12 years ago, so reads a little out of date. I laughed out loud twice but the downside was that I only laughed those two times. The urinal diagrams provided some very interesting new information. Got to the last 50 pages and started skimming. I think I'll wait a while before trying another Dave Barry book.

Rabbit Proof Fence (DVD)

Unbelievably beautiful. Three mixed aboriginal girls are forcebly removed from their homes and taken to a camp to be trained as servants. They follow the rabbit proof fence (the longest fence in the world, built to keep rabbits from invading the farmland) over 2000 km back to their homeland. A very sad commentary on not only Australian history, but on most aboriginal/european relations throughout the world. That people continue to force change on what they do not understand is one of humanity's greatest dysfunctions. The aboriginal children who played the main characters were heartbreakingly realistic, likely because they had never acted before. Watching the behind the scenes documentary tells you more about how this experience changed the girls too much, they came into the film completely innocent and have walked away changed and I'm not sure for the better. They ask the girls what they want to be when they grow up and all three of them say actor/director, but they haven't done anything else according to IMDB. This suggest to me that the experience may have been too much for them. As far as the adult actors, absolutely stellar, Kenneth Branagh and a host of Australian stars. The cinematography is phenomenal, showing the extreme climates of Australia and the sheer force of nature the girls were up against. An absolute must see.

Etre et Avoir (DVD)

Beautiful documentary about the workings of a one room school house in the middle of rural France. I loved the way the teacher and students were almost oblivious to the camera. You felt like a invited observer as opposed to a intruder. The children are unconciously funny and Mr. Lopez is the three Cs to a T, committed, consistant and caring. I was so engrossed that I was surprised when it ended. The rural dialectal French is hard to understand, so I found myself reading the subtitles to double check what I had just heard. This movie has been on my must see list since it came out in 2002. Time well spent.

Music and Lyrics

Really bad! Although the 80s new wave band spoofs were funny and there were a few good one-liners. Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore do not have any chemistry. Too bad, I've liked them in movies like this individually. Give this one a miss unless you are really bored and need a mindless dvd rental.

Catch and Release

Ummmm, not bad, not good. Fairly static romantic comedy (referred to as rom coms these days...cheesy!) Kevin Smith makes it watchable, Jennifer Garner makes you cringe, supporting cast are pretty and so-so. The most interesting thing about it was that it looked like they started filming some time ago (ancient analogue green back lit cell phone) and shelved it. Most movies that come out in February are run of the mill as not to upset the Oscars. This one definitely qualifies. Ho hum.

12 Riffs on the Power of Music
Edited by Jennifer Armstrong

Great read for young people (12-16) about how music affects diffent people. The short stories are great for read aloud to jump start a lesson or to practice public reading. Could easily be turned into a writing project for grade 9 or 10 English. I thouroughly enjoyed the diverse stories.

The Areas of My Expertise
John Hodgman

Well I tried to get through this book. I really did. It was funny in parts, but I don't think I'm into his ironic writing enough to push through to the end. Amy made a observation about it being a good book for the bathroom. (I don't think you're supposed to keep a library book by your toilet... :) ) You don't have to read it from start to finish and it's chunked in all different sizes and types of text from charts to pictograms to lists. Anyway, I got through nearly halfway when I decided to throw in the towel. When I don't want to pick up a book or feel it's a chore to read, it's time to move on. Not to mention that I have a very big stack waiting paitently to be read.

My Super Ex-Girlfriend (DVD)

I didn't make the choice to rent it, but when I looked it up on IMDB I was surprised to see that Ivan Reitman was the director. I usually really like his movies. This one was pretty contrived, with really bad dialogue. Didn't make me laugh uproariously, but I did snigger once or twice. You really have to be in the mood for physical comedy and sledgehammer jokes. The guy from Six Feet Under and The Office (Rainn Wilson) is a fun addition to the cast.

Skinnybones and the Wrinkle Queen
Glen Huser

Really great early teen read. Skinnybones (Tamara) is a foster kid and the Wrinkle Queen (Miss Barclay) is an 89 year old woman who lives in a nursing home. The two meet in community outreach program between Tamara's school and the home. Without giving too much away, the relationship becomes mutually exclusive and they take off on a road trip adventure. I really liked the dual point of view first person narrative. It's set in Western Canada and involves Wagner's Ring Cycle, so there are elements that may be new to young readers. The author gives just enough details about the two main characters to entice the reader, without comprimising the storyline. A great book for class study or stand alone read.

Voice Clinic at St. Mikes

Saw Dr. Anderson today (although not until I had been pre-screened by everyone from the front receptionist to a med student to Dr. Halal who I saw the last time I was there) at her voice clinic. The news is a mixed bag of good and bad. My voice has improved and it seems to be coming along at the same rate my arthritis is improving. She thinks it's likely that my voice has not returned fully because I'm not in remission yet. The scope showed that I still have inflammation and also some scarring on the right fold of the vocal chords. The acid reflux is still not entirely gone, so I have to continue taking the Nexium. She has suggested some speech therapy to keep the elasticity and prevent further scarring. I have an appointment next week with the speech pathologist. She does not recommend surgery at this time.

It's hard to process all this. Singing has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I do it for a living, I do it for my own art, I do it for fun. Even though I can sing somewhat (I have good and bad days) I know my voice is not back to normal. My high notes (B and C - 3rd octave) and my break (G, A, and B - 1st octave) are rough and I never know how it will come out. I can't imagine not being able to ever sing to the best of my ability, but if I never go into remission that's my reality. I really can't get too bogged down in all this, I just have to hope for the best.

Hearing Raffi Speak

Tonight I went to a dinner put on by the Reading for the Love of It conference where Raffi Cavoukian (children's performer, environmentalist and self named World Troubador) was the guest speaker. He spoke about his new book Child Honouring: How to Turn This World Around, his new CD, Resisto Dancing - Songs of Compasionate Revolution with it's lead single Cool It! about Global warning. He talked about the 9 child honouring principles of Respectful Love, Diversity, Caring Community, Parenting, Emotional Intelligence, Non Violence, Safe Environments, Sustainability and Ethical Commerce. If you're interested in further explanations go to www.raffinews.com

He sang a few new songs from what he calls his Raffi Renaissance. I got a childhood album signed and was able to get a picture with him to show my students. I was really impressed with his public speaking and of course enjoyed his singing. This was definitely worth the money out of pocket. I've come away with some new ideas to add to my new project at school which is to promote social justice in our school community. I've formed a committee with a few teachers and we are specifically focusing on hygiene and nutrition. We're still brainstorming ways to deseminate more information to a largely ESL community faced with socio-economic inequity.

Looking forward to sharing my experiences at the conference and putting new ideas into practice

Happy Valentine's Day!

You know you have a pretty amazing boyfriend when the whole of Halton region is having a snow day and he doesn't even have to go to to work yet travels 50 kms to see you on Valentine's Day. I came home from work to find him cooking with fresh ingredients from the St. Lawrence market and a bouquet of flowers waiting to be opened. I even got a Starbucks card, which I know doesn't sound romantic, but is for me! Quite a way to end a 11 year V-day drought. Thanks for a lovely evening!

January 2007 Books and Movies

Cockeyed
Ryan Knighton

Loved it. Really great memoir of a man's experiences. And funny! Of course, as the title suggests, he is slowly going blind, but for me, it was more the snapshot of his life that hooked me. Towards the end the book veered towards the exestential, but hey, we all need a little Paul Sartre in our lives. I put the book on reserve after reading Amy's review and later found out that Mike has it on reserve as well. So word gets around! It's Canadian and the author is close to my age, so it made for a good read.

Pan's Labrynth

While I can appreciate the artisitc merits of this film, it truly was too disturbing for my taste. Far too much gore! On a positive note, the costumes and sets were really well done. It was interesting to see how much Spanish I could pick up from knowing Italian and French. Sometimes it was hard to watch the action and read the subtitles fast enough, although it is highly visual, sometimes too much. I still find it amazing that during the Second World War, Spain was completely isolated, fighting it's own civil war. The fantastical elements were highly digitalised, but effective. The central figure, a young girl was very impressive. She was in nearly every scene and had to act under some very off putting circumstances. I recommend it to those with a strong stomach and those who are not overly sensitive. For me it was just too much. I left with a sick, sinking feeling, and had to make a concerted effort to get past it.

Swapping Lives
Jane Green

It seems strange that I'm refining my tastes for a genre that is sometimes described as fluffy and very similar, but there are real differences and I now definitely know what I like and what I don't. I like the verasimiltude that comes from an author writing about where she lives and what she knows. I prefer it when the main character is not perfect, but doesn't flub up everything she does. I prefer the endings to be happily conclusive but not too pat. Unfortunately, Swapping Lives comes close, but ultimately falls short of my preferences. There are two main characters, as the title suggests, one married with children from the U.S. and one single and fabulous from the U.K. Typical grass is greener and the realisation that it is not plotline and not too pat an ending. Likable, but there are better chick lit books out there. A shame because I waited an age for it on the library reserve system, and heard so many great things about this author. I'll still try another Jane Green book.

Learning Curves, A Novel of Sex, Suits and Business Affairs
Gemma Townley

The more I read of this so called chick lit genre, the more picky I get with what I like. This book started out good, but quickly spiralled into a predictable read. The heroine is feisty and opinionated, but immature, learning lessons that should have come years before her chronological age. The ending was too pat! Yikes, I saw that coming a mile away. The plot is different, I'll give it that. Jen works for her mother, who convinces her to spy on her father's company, whom she hasn't seen in 15 years. There are a series of misunderstandings and foul ups that eventually lead to a predictable happy ending. Not Gemma Townley's best unfortunately. I'm still looking forward to more books from her, she is definitely second after Sophie Kinsella in this genre for me.

Freedom Writers

Not the worst teacher movie I have ever seen, but certainly not the best. Better than Dangerous MInds with Michelle Pfeiffer I thought. The best one I have ever seen is definitely Stand and Deliver. What I enjoyed most about Freedom Writers was the time setting of the early 90's which was when I was in high school. The music was a blast from the past and I was huming or mouthing the words, getting my high school groove on. I'm curious as to what the book will be like. Hilary Swank was fine, although sometimes over the top in the earnest, idealistic new teacher role. Her experience was not typical of first year teaching, more sterotypical ideas about teaching then anything else. I heard that the real teacher this character was based on followed her kids to college after they finished their four years of high school. Erin Gruwell (the real life person) should have tried her methods with a new set of students to see if they would have worked with a new class dynamic. Patrick Dempsey was drippy, and very one dimensional as the hard done by, non supportive husband. Some of the kids were great, looking forward to seeing the girl who played Eva and the Asian girl, again in something else. Also, loved the hair and makeup! It was 90s matte, wine colour and do it yourself shocking highlights at it's best!

Sugar Rush
Julie Burchill

Very good young peoples novel that deals with female teen same sex love. The ending is a bit rushed, but the writing is fabulous. I really enjoyed it. More books need to be written about gay teens for both gay and straight audiences. I really liked the first person narrative. This may be a little much for younger or younger acting teens and easily influenced kids because of the heavy drinking, drug use and sexual exploration. Descriptions aren't explicit, but there's plenty of room for wild imaginative tangents.

Children of Men

Very bleak look at the near future. It's hard hitting and gut wrenching. There are deliberate tension relief jokes and some beatiful cinematic shots. Definitely worth seeing in the theatre. I been a huge fan of director Alfonso Cuarón since I saw Y tu mamá también and then the third Harry Potter film. There are so many talented people in this film, Clive Owen, Michael Cain, Julianne Moore and newcomer Claire-Hope Ashitey. It's 2027, women are infertile and the world is in chaos. Reminded me of A Handmaid's Tale both the book and movie. I am really uncomfortable with sci-fi movies that are so close to home. At least with Star Trek type tales it seems impossible that a reality like that could ever exist. But the way our world seems to be headed with racial intolerance, gender inequity and environmental abuse this picture of 2027 seems foreboding to say the least.

When in Rome
Gemma Townley

I enjoyed this book although at certain points I was really frustrated with how stupid the heroine Georgie was being. I really like Gemma Townley's style, very similar to Sophie Kinsella, which, I expect, is why she endorsed the book. I experienced the same sort of frustration that I had when I was reading the Shopaholic series main character Becky Bloomwood. A nice story, very well tied together with the happenings in Roman Holiday starring Audrey Hepburn. I love that movie! A nice easy read, although, if you can't tolerate stupidity then Georgie will drive you bananas. She makes a lot of dumb decisions. She has lovely boyfriend, David, whom she chucks to go to Rome with her ex, Mike, who has always been a complete waste of space. Typical grass is greener stuff. You can most likely predict the ending. Enjoy!

Dreamgirls

Fabulous and Fantastic! Jennifer Hudson is amazing, what a voice! She totally should have won the American Idol she was on. I love musicals so the sparse dialogue and characters breaking out into bursts of song was right up my alley. Beyonce was really good as well. I don't know what all the hype is about J-Hud stealing Beyonce's thunder, they both had drastically different characters who were equally important to the telling of the story. Edie Murphy, Jamie Foxx and Danny Glover were all great and played their roles with the right touch of understated deference to the women who were the real stars. Costumes were really well done, a trip through the latter half of the 20th century. Go see it, rent it or buy it!

No Remission Yet

Saw Dr. Jamal and Dr. Malloy yesterday afternoon and the news is, although I'm doing much better, I'm not in remission yet. I've been switched to injectable methatrexate (subcutaneous, so not so scary) and hopefully it will reduce some of the nausea I've been experiencing. I now have a lovely new symptom, insomnia. Apparently Deb C. has it too! All my usual relaxation tricks aren't working. I must be somewhat stressed, but things are good so I can't figure out why. I slept a little better the past two nights but still only 6 hours.

Other than that, nothing new to report. Work is settling back in after the holidays. The juniors are pushing their luck more and more, especially the sixes who are hurtling full force into adolencent angst. The primaries are getting so big, it's hard to believe that some of the junior kindergarteners were only three when they started school in September.

Down time is good as well, but definitely need to find more time to be as active as my body will let me. Can't wait for the warmer weather so I can go for more walks.

Sad Day

I played at a funeral today for a truly remarkable woman. She selflessly touched the lives of so many, with very little thought to herself. It didn't matter if you knew her well or only a little, you felt she truly cared. The words of reflection from her sister and husband touched many of us there. She will be missed dearly and I am grateful to have known her.

Happy New Year Everybody!

2006 was interesting to say the least!

New job
New school
New boyfriend
New diagnosis
And probably all sorts of stuff I haven't even thought of...

Here's to 2007 being full of excitement and good health!

Cheers!