Dental Damages

Ok, I've pretty much had it with these root canals! I sure hope that this is the very last one I ever have to experience. Something about the part of my mouth that was affected didn't take the freezing, so it was pretty painful. Not to mention the expense, ouch! Anyway, I'm glad to have it all squared away, and hopefully (as I've just taken a codeine) I'll be able to sleep well and will awake tomorrow with minimum tooth discomfort.

Eat Pray Love

I've decided to give this book its very own blog entry because of the sheer impact it has had on me while reading it. To date, Eat Pray Love is the most influential book I have ever read. It spoke directly to my stomach, brain and heart. Elizabeth Gilbert's writing style had me laughing out loud and crying gut wrenching tears. There is something for everyone here, and certain parts of this book spoke to me so clearly, I actually book marked them, (page 65, pages 148-151 and page 178) something I have never done before. It's inspired me to continue with my yoga, embrace daily meditation and experience fully the simple pleasures of life. Although I wouldn't consider myself to be searching so much for a spiritual experience with God the way she did, it has brought up more and more questions of that nature for me. I've been very comfortable for over 15 years with my agnostic borderline atheist beliefs. I wonder if it's a temporary by-product of reading the book, or if this will kick start a deeper spiritual study. The book has definitely solidified some plans for my year off. I will go to Italy to see all the parts I have yet to see, and I will go to India. I'm so glad I read this book, for me, it is a bookshelf classic, destined to be read again and again.

Back in the Sand!

It feels great! I'm so happy I can play volleyball again. I actually did better than I thought I would do! I signed up for individual intermediate 6s (which is always a crap shoot) but I was so lucky tonight. My team is loads of fun and best of all, good players! We won 3 of our 5 games tonight, and the losses were by a small point margin. I'm looking forward to the rest of the season!

5 Months

When I initially thought about today's date, I felt somewhat disappointed in myself. I'm just not where I thought I'd be at this point. I know I have to be kinder and gentler to myself, accept my limitations and strive to move past them. All I can do is redouble my efforts and move onward and upward with love in my heart and a cool head in the driver's seat. I have made all kinds of progress, and the best part is that I feel better, even though I sometimes slip back into old patterns. It's really great that I can recognise when it happens, and redirect. This is a huge step for me. One minute at a time changes to one hour at a time, to one day at a time. Patience is a hard lesson, but one I'm determined to learn.

I remain, a humble student of life.

Namaste.

April 2008 Books and Movies

Three Bags Full: A Sheep Detective Story
Leonie Swann

This book has a great hook. They find their shepherd lying in the meadow with a spade stuck in his chest and decide to solve the murder. You really get into the characters, pausing only to remember...these are sheep! It's pretty funny. The downside is, the story is far too convoluted to make for really good reading. Too bad, I really enjoyed it until about halfway through.


The Darjeeling Unlimited

Not so good. I was expecting to like it at least a little, as I really enjoyed The Royal Tenenbaums, but not so much. The best thing about it was the gorgeous Indian cinematography. Anjelica Huston was another highlight, she's fabulous. I found Owen Wilson's character really annoying. Makes me want to visit India even more now, so that's a plus.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Not the best movie I've ever seen, but not the worst either. The blood looks like red paint, but it's the concept that's really gross. Typical Tim Burton, creepy, weird and starring Johnny Depp. I'm not surprised he's married to Helena Bonham-Carter, she's weird too! Loved the sets and costumes, 1840s pre Victorian...there were lots of boobs hanging out of dresses which wouldn't have flown when Vicky was queen. :) The music was great too, it would be interesting to see the stage show.

Prime

I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. It was a funny, poignant romantic comedy. I put it on as I was doing some housework, and all of a sudden, I wasn't working, I was watching. Meryl Streep is one of my favorite actors, and it was the type of movie that suits Uma Thurman to a "T". Enjoyable couple of hours with a non traditional ending.

The Amber Spyglass
Philip Pullman

Wah! I didn't want this series to end. It was that good! Best book of the three, Lyra and Will's character development is stellar. The ending is so sad, but you know it's the right one. The Mulefa were a bit weird to wrap your head around, but really added a layer to the story. Pullman puts his views forth plainly in our world view, whereas before he hid them in Lyra's world view. So glad I read these books, they were excellent!

Music Musings

Just got home from the third and final recording session. There were three flutes and one piccolo booked on the gig, so I wasn't very exposed by any means. One of the flute players couldn't attend yesterday's session, so there are at least two pieces on the upcoming CD that you will be able to hear just me.

I do feel I am growing as a player, but I still have so far to go. I'm a little torn about what direction to follow. I attended a symposium for work today, and it was very enlightening. There are so many things I could do, work on my classical singing, take my singing in a whole new direction with jazz, work on my piano chops for work, increase my ability on other instruments and of course work on my flute/piccolo chops. I'm quite inspired by my dear friend, who is hard at work on his own musical endevours.

I had a good concert on Saturday, the pic solos went very well. It was very cool to have Dave Devall (the weather guy from CTV) as the announcer, he was very good. The summer looks busy musically, but we'll see how much I actually do. It's all about the balance!

New Trailer for the SATC Movie

I am so super excited for this movie. I love love love Sex and the City. Have done ever since I found out about it while it was in its 3rd season. I own the DVDs, can quote it backwards and forwards and can watch it again and again without getting bored. I even have the SATC trivia on my Facebook page that I've won 1800 points and counting. I just saw the new trailer on the movie website. Very interesting! It would seem (although trailers always mislead) that Carrie is finally going to marry Big, but something happens to stop the wedding. Also there's a funny moment with Miranda and Steve. He says something about something being "just the one time", which could mean that he cheated on Miranda, but I don't think so. I think it has something to do with Brady, either he left him alone, or hit him or something. It seems that Sam is getting bored of Smith, and is coveting other men, and Charlotte is finally pregnant after adopting the Chinese girl. It all looks very glam and movie ish, but I wonder how it's going to translate, 4 years after it ended. I've been invited to a very girly night out for the movie premiere. Dinner and cosmos (of course) before going to see the movie. I can't wait!

2008 National Jazz Awards

My first experience going to the National Jazz Awards. Something that struck me was, how small the jazz world really is. I recognised a lot of people from the last three years of volunteering at the TD Toronto Jazz Festival.

My favorite vocalist, Emilie-Claire Barlow, won in her category. Unfortunately, she wasn't performing.



I love, love, love Hilario Duran, so was super excited when he won in two categories. Sadly, he wasn't performing either.



I wasn't able to see all the acts, but here's a few I did catch:

Nikki Yanofsky



Sly Juhas, doing double duty with both Brandi Disterheft and Elizabeth Sheppard:



The Brandi Disterheft quartet, including her vocalist, Sophia Perlman, whom I really enjoy after listening to Autobeauties on Brandi's CD, Debut:



It's a type of event that's better to go to with other people, so you have someone to talk to during the speeches! Some were very, very long, especially Jim Galloway's introduction of a lifetime achievement award for Geoff Chapman.

The tributes to Doug Riley, Jeff Healey and Oscar Peterson were extremely moving. Video clips, family member speeches and musical tributes were lovely, especially Reg Schwager's guitar tribute to Jeff Healey.

A nice evening out, although it would have been much better on the weekend!

Jackson's Christening

There's a new baby in our family, my cousin's son, Jackson.



He's very cute! Today was his christening.





Afterwards, there was food and very sugary cake, yum!

First Bike Ride of 2008!

What a beautiful day for a ride. It was really fantastic! I biked along the Martin-Goodman trail to Cherry Beach, then to Tommy Thompson park (a man made conservation peninsula) then to Woodbine park. It felt so good to be on my bike, I'm so glad it's finally spring. Looking forward to biking to work on Monday!

March 2008 Books and Movies

The Subtle Knife
Philip Pullman

The second book in this trilogy was even better than the first one! The story keeps getting more and more intriguing and the allegory and philosophical discussions are very profound. The addition of the new character of Will and the doorways between worlds added an extra demension (no pun intended) made this book impossible to put down. I immediately reached for the Amber Spyglass (the third book in the series) just as soon as I had finished the last page!

4 Months

I was wondering why I felt so restless today, and then I realised what day it was. I was listening to my iPod today in the subway when Emilie-Claire Barlow's version of Blame It On My Youth came on. I was fine at first, but as the song played on, I got a distinct twinge of pain in my heart. It's a different kind of pain than before, because of what I've discovered through my process. Listening to the lyrics, they symbolise a growth spurt, which may be the reason for the pain. Here's hoping that tomorrow brings an ease of pain and more peace of mind.

New Hair!

It's been a long while since I've had my hair cut. After loosing much of it when I was on the Areva, it was hard to feel good about my hair. The good news is that it's growing back slowly but surely. I thought that if I cut it shorter, it would mask the regrowth process a bit. I like the cut a lot and have been getting lots of compliments as well!

2nd Annual QOR Band Mess Dinner

Big improvement from last year. Not to say that last year's dinner was bad (although the food poisoning wasn't so fun - apparently another person from the band also got sick!) but this year's was closer to a traditional mess dinner. It was held in the 48th Sargeant's Mess and was table service instead of buffet.



Our guest speaker was some big general dude from the Air Force. He was no Bobby Harriett, but he was pretty funny.

Teddy O'Halloran (the only WWII vet left in our band) and I.



He landed on Juno Beach, June 6th, 1944, and was one of the few lucky enough to survive. An amazing gentleman, he loves to call us all his "girlfriends". :)

The band has decided to make this dinner an annual event. I'm looking forward to next year!

Great News!

I've just returned from a very positive rheumatologist's appointment where my doctors told me that I was pretty much in drug related remission! The only way to measure progress is through how you're feeling, and I know I've been feeling better for a while now, but it's great to hear it from a professional. They have given me liscense to play with my drug dosages a bit to try and reduce some of the more harmful ones, to lessen the side effects. The no drinking hasn't caused much of a problem, as I don't drink excessively normally, but being at an all inclusive resort and not being able to drink was really a shame! I'm hopeful that one day I'll be able to to achieve drug free remission. Fingers crossed!

Cuba

Having never been to the Caribbean before, let alone to an all inclusive resort, I had no idea what to expect when I took off for a 7 day, 7 night trip to Cayo Santa Maria on Cuba's north coast.

What a trip!

Pictures say more than words, so I'll let them do the talking.



The beach is on the Atlantic side so a smidge colder than the Caribbean side, but still amazing. I love salt water! Well, except when it gets in your eyes.

The resort was quite nice.


Our poco hacienda was called:



Each "bungalow" (that's what they called it) had 16 rooms on two floors.



The rooms were quite big.





The swim up bar was cool!



There were shows every night featuring really wonderful dancers. I was amazed at the sheer amount of talent giving it their all every night at a resort for tourists.



My favorite dancer was Roberto. He was gay as gay can be (a risky business in Cuba) but danced with such passion and integrity I was drawn in. I got to dance salsa with him at the club later, and he actually picked me up in a lift! That was a highlight of my trip for sure!

Roberto on the stage:





Roberto off the stage:





My trip to Havana was another absolute highlight.

I took a day trip by plane.



Varadero by air!



Old Havana









I was amazed at the amount of propaganda everywhere. There is no advertising in Cuba, the billboards laud state policy instead.







Che Guevera is a national hero, and figures heavily in the rampant propaganda.





Havana is an amazing city. It's so old and rich with architecture and historic places to visit.

Congress:





The National Theatre:



Revolution Square:



Castro's tank! (In front of the Museum of the Revolution...of course!)



The University:



Hemingway's Bar, the Floridita:





Me with the great man himself! :)



I'm looking forward to exploring some of the other great cities in Cuba. Santa Clara, which is where the remains of Che Guevera are buried, Trinidad, which is apparently a great example of baroque architecture, Cienfuegos, Holguin, they all sound fantastic.

There were cats everywhere at the resort, including some really cute kittens. Feeding them was not a good idea, because then they wouldn't leave you alone, but I took some pictures.









All in all, it was a good trip. I highly recommend staying all inclusive if your main goal is to relax. I found that one excursion was enough for the week.

Viva Cuba, Cuba Si!

3 Months

Almost forgot to post because of the shortened month - was waiting for the 30th when it dawned on me that it would never come! :)

Time is the Master.

That and taking one's life by the horns and deciding you are the boss. It's exhilarating, empowering and extremely exhausting (but in a good way) work and I'm pleased with my progress.

I can report that I am happy, healthy and thought not absolutely pain free, much, much better.

I'm looking forward to potentially stepping through an open door when the time is right.

February 2008 Books and Movies

Sexual Intelligence
Kim Cattrall

An ok book, made better by amazing pictures, artwork and inspirational quotes. In some parts it felt like the book was wholly excerpted from Kim Cattrall's documentary by the same title. It was a quick and easy read, but not completely satisfying. Hmmm, interesting analogy! :)

Jumper

It's really a shame, because this movie could have been so much more than it was. Woefully miscast (except for Samuel L. Jackson) and containing very little plot, it seemed the director was more interested in the special effects than anything else. The ending was frustrating because they are obviously leaving it open for a sequel. Loved the locals, very cool, especially the Valley of the KIngs.

Kiss of the Spider Woman
(Scarborough Musical Theatre)

Ok, this isn't technically a book or a movie, but I went to watch it, so it counts! My cousin was playing in the pit. I've never seen this musical before, it's pretty interesting. Set mainly in an Argentinian prison during the 70's dictatorship, it tells the story of two very different men who develop a unique bond in prison. The Spider Woman is Death, her kiss, the scythe. The songs are catchy in the moment, but not very memorable. I'm curious as to how the Broadway run was received. It was very long, but a nice evening, supporting the artistic pursuits of a dedicated group of amateur players.

Uganda Rising

An absolutely eye opening documentary about the plight of children in northern Uganda. To live in fear of being abducted to become a child soldier or a sex slave is a horror beyond imagining. I saw it as a professional development workshop in support of the Toronto Gulu Walk. Check it out at word that will be link! Not for the faint of heart, but the more people know about it, the more hope and help will come to those who suffer.

Atonement

Was slightly disappointed in this film. While the costumes, settings and historical accuracy were stellar, one the whole, it just tried to be too "arty". Weird shots that weren't tied to the film, minimal dialogue and a jarring trip to the present time disrupted the experience more than enhanced it. The beginning exposition dragged on and on and the ending was somewhat dissatisfying. I wouldn't say say give it a miss, as everyone has different tastes, but just be prepared for what you see.

Juno

Wow! This movie was freakin' fantastic! Laughed all the way through it. Quirky and fun, loved the one liners from everyone. It actually made me feel like I was glad I wasn't in high school anymore. Loved the boyfriend! This film had the cutest ending ever. It's an absolute must see.

The Golden Compass
Philip Pullman

Loved it! Even better than the movie, no surprise there! Can't wait to read the other two books in the trilogy. You just get sucked into the world that seems so like ours, but with strange differences that pull you back into this alternate universe. I did picture all the actors as the characters in the book (not that I mind picturing Daniel Craig ;) at all) which was a bit confusing. Why did they change Mrs. Coulter's hair colour from brown in the book to blonde in the movie? This series is right up there with the Narnia Chronicles. Great read!

A Good Weekend!

Friday night was a good opportunity to have some quiet time, something I desperately needed after the work week. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Saturday was spent going to the St. Lawrence Saturday market for my weekly fresh veg, going for regular groceries, doing a wonderful Hatha class at my Yoga studio, getting in some gym time and then attending a lovely choir and orchestra concert. I also really enjoyed time spent with a dear friend afterwards.

Sunday morning Vinyasa with Camille, my favorite Yoga instructor, a little more grocery shopping (strawberries, 3 for $5!) and a visit to the grandparents and mom (still in hospital) followed by the Oscars rounded out my weekend.

Happy Heart Day!

Well it's Valentine's Day again. And I'm single again. It's funny, two years ago I was single and non-plussed on Valentine's Day, last year I was in relationship and had a wonderful, thoughtful, romantic celebration on Valentine's Day. This year, I had a pretty good day at work, got some cute valentines and some chocolate and thought about how I feel about the day. I'm ok. I'm happy for those who have found the one that they love, and am glad I am working on my relationship with myself. Do I miss him? Absolutely. Am I sorry and sad? I'm happy to report no, as per my last post, that thing I mentioned has done what I had hoped and confirmed that I am on the right path.

A weight has been lifted

I did something tonight that will be very useful to me soon. Any way it plays out will be beneficial in some way. I feel a big sense of relief as thinking about when and how I would do it has been weighing on me quite heavily. Hopefully I will rest easy tonight now that it's done.

A fantastic arts weekend!

Rob Campbell Quartet

Rob Campbell - Guitar
Doug Watson - Sax
Mike Milligan - Bass
Greg Pilo - Drums

It's been a while since I went to the Rex, so decided to go on Saturday night to see whomever was playing the 9:30 show. Turned out to be these guys. I've only recently started to get into jazz guitar, and I'm loving it! What a great sound. I'm not generally big into alto sax (I prefer tenor) but Doug Watson was phenomenal. Rob Campbell is so laid back, everything except for his fingers that is. Great music and an enjoyable evening.

Habobo Toronto

This is a group of Toronto based teachers and musicians who all have been taught by Kwasi Dunyo at one time or another. I've worked with Kwasi in two different schools, both times it was a really great experience. Apparently the group has open nights once a month, so I think I'll go check it out. Another surprise was that one of the itinerants from school was a part of the group. I didn't expect to know anyone in the performance. It ended with an invitation to come up on stage and participate. A very inviting, engaging and inclusive experience.

The Burning Bush

Absolutely stellar! Hilarious, thought provoking, clever and fun. Tracey Erin Smith is a powerhouse. I highly recommend you try and see the show or its sequel at some point because I couldn't begin to describe it to you. I'll leave you with two interconnected thoughts from the show. Rabbinical school and a stripper's pole. See? Go see it!

Sisters of Sheynville

This was the group that performed with Tracey. Wonderful musicians especially the clarinetist who was absolutely incredible. Lovely harmonies and great jazz elements to this all female Yiddish sextet. They did a set on their own after the show, and it was a great ending to an arty weekend.

January 2008 Books and Movies

Cloverfield

Very weird. The hand held camera gave me vertigo and made me nauseous at first, but then it went away. I want to say it was clever, but in the end, it just tried too hard. The decapitated Statue of Liberty was cool, as was her big head in the middle of the street. The actors were relative nobodies, in an attempt to make it more "real", but who could be fooled when the plot involves CGI aliens and a destroyed Manhattan? I don't know why they tried to make it so believable. I'll give it a good jumpy factor, I definitely squirmed in my seat and elbowed my movie companion.

Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm
Kim Cattrall, Mark Levinson and Fritz Drury

This is Kim Cattrall's first book. I had heard that her books were quite good, so I decided to get them out of the library. This one is very well written, is illustrated (information line drawings, not photos) and is a straightforward, easy read. The book was written with her ex-husband, so one would presume she has had many more experiences since then. You need to take the introduction with a big grain of salt. The book also has a very 70's feel to it, which was a bit strange.

Being a Girl: Navigating the Ups and Downs of Teenage Life
Kim Cattrall, Amy Briamonte and Marf

Excellent! Must have for all young women. Touches on all the issues without being condescending and above all sending a positive message of good self esteem, respect and personal growth. Lots of pictures, cute cartoons and inspirational quotes round out the text. If you have a young girl or woman who is in need of either a complete directional shift or perhaps just needs a friendly reassurance that she is on the right path, you can't go wrong with this book.

The Bucket List

Wow! What a movie. Rob Reiner film, Morgan Freeman, laughter, tears, even Jack Nicholson was good, and I don't always like him. You need to be pretty comfortable with your own mortality to really enjoy this film, but once there, it's a great ride.

27 Dresses

Cute but not overly clever. I love Katherine Heigl on Grey's Anatomy and thought she was hilarious in Knocked Up. She was equally good here but unfortunately, not supported in any way, shape or form by her cast members. Awful actors in place as her sister, best friend and boss. Even her love interest was passable, although I have liked James Marsden in other things. The bridesmaid dresses montage was really fun. You'll definitely be in for a few laughs if you go see it.

Stardust
Neil Gaiman

As it happens most of the time, this book was way better than the movie. I was really disappointed with some of the changes they made, both with what the script writers left out and what they made much bigger than what it was. Robert DeNiro did not need that much screen time to portray such a minimal character. I'm glad I saw the movie first so I wasn't disappointed because I remember really enjoying the film. I couldn't put this book down, it was an great read from start to finish. Excellent!

Booky and the Secret Santa
(Made for TV)

I loved the Booky series when I was a child. It gave me all sorts of insight into what it must have been like to grow up in the dirty 30's. I felt sad for Booky and her family but admired her tenacious spirit and her family's love for each other even when times were tough. Unfortunately this made for TV movie didn't really do the books justice. The sets and costumes were amazing, and really gave you a sense of what Toronto was like back then. Megan Follows was great, but the rest of the cast were weak (especially the children), and the script poorly written. It seemed like a lot of story jammed into a two hour time slot. The producers would have been better off making a trilogy of the books, sticking closely to the original story. As it was, they attributed the charitable gift packages to Eaton's when it has always been the Star Santa Claus Fund that distributes those to the needy. It's unfortunately just another example of how books are often better than cinematic adaptations.

Little Family, Big Values
The Roloff Family with Tracy Sumner

I really like this television show, so I was expecting a bit more. The message is great, believe in yourself, follow your dreams, work hard, live with integrity, have faith and love your family. The medium, not so great. The writing is terrible. I don't know if they hired a hack ghost writer, or the family itself had so much control over the project, that they didn't allow any editorial input. I wonder if it is the latter, as Matt Roloff comes across on TV as pretty stubborn. It was a quick read, I'll give it that. Watch the show, it's much better.

2 months

If you'd have asked me two months ago if I would feel even marginally ok at this point, I would have laughed in your face. It really is true that every day brings a smidge more healing.

When I think about how I handled my last "break up", (in quotations because there wasn't really something there to break up from) I shake my head ruefully. I should say how I didn't handle it. I did everything wrong and paid for it dearly. I learned some good lessons from it, but it doesn't make doing the right things any easier on the heart.

Tonight, by chance, I ran into my first true love (who, of course, broke my heart into a million and one pieces), and in the midst of my current situation, it was very strange, like all my feelings were merged together. I didn't handle that break up very well either...hmm, sensing a pattern here. I shouldn't be too hard on myself though, I was very young at the time.

As for how I'm feeling right now, I've come to a few realisations that have really helped, made a few decisions about how to proceed and made renewed efforts to take things one day at a time.

I've missed Yoga!

Today I took my first Yoga class in a long while. Between busting my ankle and being diagnosed with RA, I simply haven't been able to do any. It was very nice. I went to a Yoga studio a couple of blocks from my place. Lovely, calm, serene environment. It was a gentle Hatha session, best to start off slow. I found I was able to do most of it, although my wrists hurt after a while. I found it really cleared my head. Although what it cleared is suddenly even more complicated than what I have already been processing. I am so confused! I just don't know what to do or what will happen in the future. I feel like I am being pulled in two directions, by my past and by my future. I can only be present, be aware and take the days one at a time.

Taking stock

This would be the time when, if I had made any resolutions in January of 2007, I would check to see if I had stuck to any of them. Since I didn't make any, I'll just take stock of my life as it is today, January 12th, 2008.

Health

Pretty good. The Humira is working wonders, I can do things I haven't been able to do in a year, such as lifting weights and wrist supporting yoga stances. Youpppie! I still have slight tenderness in my wrists, especially when I do an out of the ordinary repetitive hand movement like playing the same musical line over and over again on the piano for my students.

Job

Ummmm, better now that I've decided to not sweat the small stuff. I'm frustrated that I am not able to effect more change, but I have to let it go, or else I'm going to drive myself bonkers. Pretty dissatisfied and looking forward to the postings in April.

Relationships

I'm developing a better one with myself, which is very positive. In the nearly six weeks since the break up, I am amazed with the difference I see in myself. It's like it was a bonk on the head kind of wake up call that I needed to really address the things within myself that I want to improve.

I'm very grateful for the support I've received from friends and family. I don't know how I would get through this tough time without them.

Home

Still need to paint and do the floors, but that's just not a financial priority at the moment. Hopefully I'll be able to do it soon.

So there you have it. New year, new start, new lilies on the plant that was one of my teacher xmas gifts. Hopefully it's a good sign.

The eve before school starts again...

I welcome the change from being on my own dealing with the break up and all that entails, but I still don't want to go back. The school is just not a good place to be and is absolutely stunting my personal growth. I've decided to deal with it by doing my job, interacting as little as possible with the toxic elements and concentrating on my self improvement. Hopefully that will help to get me through the rest of this year.

First day of 2008

I'm not usually one for resolutions, as I don't believe in setting oneself up for failure, but I thought it couldn't hurt considering all that is going on in my life.

1. Live for today and tomorrow, not in the past

2. Think positively and you will attract positive things

3. Find your centre everyday

It is my sincere hope that I can believe absolutely that better things are yet to come, without self pity, self doubt or false hope.

This is my dearest wish for the New Year. Here's to 2008!

December 2007 Books and Movies

He's Just Not That Into You - The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
Liz Tuccillo, Greg Behrendt

When I first heard the sentence uttered on Sex and the City, I thought: that makes sense. In book format with all possible scenarios, it makes even greater sense. Of course there are exceptions, but they are very few and far between. (That's why they call them exceptions...) Too many women (myself included) have thought they were with the guy who was the exception to the rule, but if there are so many of them, they're obviously not the exception. I do think about how much time I have wasted thinking about all the seemingly mixed messages I have received over the years. This book is especially good for break ups because even if you don't fully understand the reason, the fact that he is looking you in your beautiful face and telling you he doesn't need you in his life anymore is proof enough that he's just not that into you.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets

Not bad! I was shocked to see so many big big stars in this, Helen Mirren, Harvey Keitel, Ed Harris? The acting was pretty bad on purpose, but the special effects were cool, as was the storyline. Both Helen Mirren's and Diane Kruger's inconsistent American accents were very distracting. They should just hire Americans next time, it's not like there's a lack of people out there. I really liked the puzzle desks and the book of secrets itself. A good distraction but don't go expecting great cinema.

Lamb - The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
Christopher Moore

When I finished this book, my first thought was: what a great book. My second thought was: I'm so sad that this is my last Christopher Moore novel, I sure hope he writes a new one soon. This book is great because it takes a prolific story (religious or not, most people know who Jesus is) and gives a sometimes irreverent, sometimes bang on view of the first century A.D. life. It's well researched and also gives us insight into some other world religions, all of which have versions of the Golden Rule. It's not preachy, but forces one to look deep inside oneself when contemplating the book. Best of all, it's hilarious! I found his comments on the Tao particularly scintillating, especially since I have been doing a lot of thinking about the merits of this religion. This book is an excellent read, I can't say enough about it, go read it!

Walk Hard - The Dewey Cox Story

Pretty funny! The Johnny Cash, Elvis and Bob Dylan story all rolled into one. A bit crude and lewd at times but laugh out loud at some points. John C. Reilly was excellent. He really has a fantastic voice. A good movie if you want a distraction from reality.

The Judgment of Paris - The Revolutionary Decade That Gave the World Impressionism
Ross King

This book was behemoth, even though it only weighs in at about 370 pages. This took me months and months to read, mainly because of all the detailed notes King includes. I've never formally studied Art History and the subject is fascinating! I peripherally recognized some of the paintings included in the colour plates, but didn't know the details. It was really interesting to read about Manet and how he influenced and detracted from the Impressionist movement. Ross King is a great writer, blending fact and supposition into a tightly written narrative. Excellent, really glad I persevered.

Love Actually (DVD)

Really great film. Love the cast, the London setting, even the xmas timeframe, and I don't usually go for holiday films. Cried buckets, especially at the unrequited and wrong person love bits. Excellent, go see it!

I Think I Love My Wife (DVD)

This had very limited release in the theatres in Canada and for good reason. Some very funny lines, but over all, not a shred of sustainable dialogue. The end scene was one of the worst of all times. I remember watching the trailer and thinking it may be funny, but never actually went to see it. Ok to rent, but utimately, give it a miss.

The Golden Compass

This was pretty good...until the ending. What a let down! The story rolls along pretty quick and requires a lot of inferring skill. Not to mention that it is pretty violent, so I'm not sure how it is overly kid friendly. Daniel Craig did not get enough screen time to do justice to his gorgeousness. I suppose they are leading up to do the sequel, but it'll probably depend on the success of this one.

Enchanted

Very cute! Love Patrick Dempsey, he is gorgeous. It was neat to watch the flip between the animated world and the real world. Watch for the great musical number in the park. Amy Adams is absolutely fantastic as Giselle the fairytale princess. A very fun movie!

Last day of 2007

I don't often make New Year's resolutions, but I'm making one now that I will be trying very hard to keep. I will make note of the positive in my life and be thankful for it.

Today was very very difficult. There was a family gathering at my grandparents, and a picture was taken of all the grandchildren, including the new great grand baby. I was the only one alone. It's weird, before this relationship, I wouldn't have thought anything of it. But because I had brought my entire self to the relationship, and made my family a part of things, the absence made my heart break. I could barely keep it together and came home and cried and cried. I know there is no set time for these things, but I keep thinking, shouldn't it be getting better? Or is it just because it's New Year's or the holiday season? Why do I still ache with loneliness, why am I still blanketed in sadness, why am I filled with longing, but most of all why do I miss someone who deliberately cut me out of his life? It seems really twisted. There are definitely some design flaws in humans, because we should be able to recognise that it's not healthy to still want someone who doesn't want us. But it's not that way at all.

I'm going to try and have as ok of a New Year's as I can, but all I can hope for is to make it through without crying.

1 month

Well I made it to one month. At the beginning of all this, I really didn't think I would make it to the next day, let alone the next week or the first month. I have good days and bad days, unfortunately more bad than good still. I miss the companionship and friendship. I miss being in a relationship, having a date for special functions and the closeness. I don't miss the battles of the core personality differences or the rigidity. I don't miss the frustrations, resentments and uncertainties. After reading the book "He's just not that into you" based on an episode of Sex and the City I paraphrased a few affirmations that are helping me see things more clearly.

The person you want to get back together with is the SAME person who looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your wonderful qualities, and told you he was no longer in need of your company.

Don't be flattered that he misses you. He SHOULD miss you. You're deeply missable. However, he's still the same person who just broke up with you. The ONLY reason he can miss you is because he's CHOOSING, everyday, NOT to be with you.

It's very tempting when you really want to be with someone to SETTLE for much, much less - even a vague, pathetic facsimile of less - than you would have ever imagined. Keep your eye on the prize!

Of course, I don't believe these affirmations yet, but am hopeful that someday I will.

Today was difficult

From finding out that my dad had seen him at the museum, to him calling to wish me a nice family dinner and a Merry Xmas (likely because of seeing my dad at the museum), the day was filled with longing and sadness. Every young person in my family is coupled up except for me. Older members had high hopes for this year, because this was the year all the grandkids had partners. I was keenly reminded and acutely aware of how alone I was. I hope that it is just the day and that this heart numbing missing of him will pass or else I will drive myself crazy with my own thoughts and heartache.

Christmas Eve

It feels weird. It doesn't feel like the holidays at all. I've never been much for this time of year, but last year was the first time I really enjoyed myself. I was in the honeymoon stages of a great new relationship, forging new traditions that I was so looking forward to this year. It's downright depressing. Not to mention I can't stop thinking about if he even cares. If he is affected at all my absence at this time as I am by his. This is also brought on by telling my Italian grandparents yesterday that it was over. They were very disappointed (I'm the oldest grandchild and am now the only one without a relationship) but also don't want me to be unhappy. I tried really hard to be strong, but I cried a little. I'm just so disappointed in the way everything turned out. My grandmother said, "oh, he'll come back in two weeks", which is her way of dealing with the news. I don't know what was worse, telling them initially, or having to convince her afterwards that this wasn't temporary, when I'm still struggling with coming to terms with that fact myself. I hate writing it down, but I'm not looking forward to tomorrow at all. Even though everyone knows and will undoubtedly be sensitive to how I'm feeling, it will still be weird. Anyway we'll see how it goes.

The road to clairity and understanding isn't always so smooth...

Just got home from a nice end of school before the December holidays celebratory drink/dinner/coffee with a friend. Have I mentioned how grateful I am for my friends? Days are passing and with them feelings of being ok, being not ok, being really not ok and taking it one step at a time. Had my first EAP session on Tuesday, and have started the homework, mainly externalising my thoughts. I do tend to keep them bottled up inside, until they tumble round and round, making no sense at all and sending me into a useless thought cycle. Getting them out is helpful, although there are still some things I don't want to write down, for example, even though I know that acceptance is the road to healing, I still can't write the words, "it's over" and really and truly mean them.

On an unrelated note, got lots of nice prezzies from the kiddies today, quite a change from the dollar store items I received last year. It makes me wonder though, which is better, dollar store gifts from geniune people, or expensive gifts from alpha people. Hmmmm.

Looking forward to the time off, hopefully I'll be able to enjoy some of it. I know I won't be completely fine, but hope that the joy of the season will permeate somewhat.

Almost forgot what day it was...

until it hit me, today would have been 15 months. It's interesting because last month, which was 14 months, went by and I didn't notice for the first time. I guess I should have taken that as a warning sign. My friend said something pretty profound today. He said that I wouldn't have reacted to the birthday gifts the way in which I did if I wasn't feeling resentment for what I wasn't getting out of the relationship. Why is it so hard to admit that I had doubts while in the middle of it? Why is it so hard to admit that it's over? Between my job, my mom's illness and this, I'm not holding up well.

Not having a good day

Maybe it's the combination of a winter storm keeping me cooped up inside, attending my first holiday party alone, getting some more bad news about my mom's condition and just feeling overwhelmingly alone. I miss him so much. I feel like I'm faking it when I say that I'm moving on slowly, taking it one day at a time, keeping busy, bettering myself for that next great thing. I'm not. The real me, buried under deep layers of what I think other people expect me to be, is feeling that I've lost the love of my life and nothing will ever be the same again. I had an unbelievably strong urge to call him today, and although I know he wouldn't mind, especially in light of the situation with my mom, it's not a good idea. I'm going to go to my EAP counselor session and see what they have to say before I do anything like that. Today I am very sad. I hope tomorrow will be better.

Healing Prayer

A friend of mine is currently on her 4 over 5 and recently spent time in Iona, Scotland. She posted a Celtic prayer on her blog that I've slightly modified (changed O God to O spirit), as I'm not overly religious. It's very comforting to me at this time.

Circle me, O spirit.
Keep hope within,
Despair without.

Circle me, O spirit.
Keep peace within,
Keep turmoil out.

Circle me, O spirit.
Keep strength within,
Keep weakness out.

I have to believe that there is a plan for me, and that I have the strength to wait patiently for it to unfold.

Choir Concert

Today's performance of Bach's Oratorio went very well. It's not the most heavily scored for choir, so there was a lot of sitting around, but the orchestra is great, so there was lots of entertainment. My flute teacher was principal flute on this gig, so it was a treat to listen to her play. There's a beautiful alto/flute 8va duet and it was lovely. It was very hard to look out into the audience and know that he wasn't there, especially with the trumpets soaring in the background. In that moment I missed him so much it was excruciating. I just wish things would hurry up and play out the way they are supposed to so I can get on with my life.

1st set back

I've got to get used to the idea that there will be good days and bad days. While watching a lighthearted romantic comedy, I started to cry (as I often do at these kinds of movies) and it turned into a full fledged bawl. I cried for a lot of things, love, loneliness, mistakes, good times, the past, the future, broken hearts and grief. I feel so drained and overwhelmed by these powerful feelings, it's like drowning. The dress rehearsal for the choir concert was so hard today. We are performing Bach's xmas oratorio, and it features three trumpets. I was so looking forward to looking out and seeing him in the audience, knowing that he was hearing spectacular trumpet music. And then, ironically enough, Paul (the musician who played the last post at my school's remembrance day assembly and went to Western as well) is playing third trumpet in the concert. I went up to say hi, and mentioned that we had a mutual aquaintance, and he told me a funny story. The feelings evoked by that little story were unbearable. It was exactly him, to the T. Afterwards, when I was some distance away, I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I know everything is supposed to happen for a reason, but right now, I can't for the life of me think what that reason could be.

1 week down

Well I made it through the 1st week. I'm pretty proud of myself, because if you had asked me earlier in the week I wouldn't have been so sure. It's been tough, I've had good moments and not so good moments but that's to be expected. I have to take my second injection of Humira tonight and I'm a little worried to be doing it all on my own, but I have to get used to the fact that I am alone now. It's a pretty painful injection but it supposedly yields great results. I'll know for sure in another couple of months. I suffered my first attack of really engulfing loneliness tonight, brought on my thinking about my injection and about being alone on Xmas eve. I keep waiting for it to pass, but I think I may be riding this one out for a little longer. Hopefully I'll wake up tomorrow in a better state of mind.

I'm exhausted!

Haven't blogged in a couple of days because I've been so tired. Mental, physical, emotional and intellectual exhaustion, like I've never felt before. It's very true that you can wear yourself out, last night I slept like a rock, waking just before my alarm. I'm not looking forward to my final root canal installment tomorrow, but it'll be a welcome distraction. I'm learning a little more about myself everyday, learning to accept my role in everything that has happened but to also not blame myself entirely. It definitely takes two. Hopefully Grey's Anatomy will be a tear jerker for even more release.

Day 5

Oooooh, I'm mad. Mad, mad mad. Mad at the fact that I can't stop crying when I tell new people, mad that I still think getting back together is a good idea, mad that I can't shake the feelings of uncertainty about my future. I know I'm being too hard on myself, that this is a process that I must go though in order to come out the other side a better person, ready to love again. But I need details! How long, how much, who, what, where, when and how? The finality of it all rocks me to my very core. It's only Day 5 and I'm sick of this! Yet another thing I'm mad about. At the very least I'm in good company. Two of my friends are going through very recent break ups. Work is a nightmare, it's definitely the last place I want to be right now. I'm trying to keep the thinking and rehashing down to a minimum, only in my nightly blog. I'm hopeful that after a week of blogging everyday, I'll be able to do it bi-weekly or weekly. I do feel I've made a bit of progress, but get very frustrated when I slip back. I am absolutely exhausted though, so to that end, am off to bed.

Day 4

Today I woke up angry, I mean really angry. Punching the pillows angry. Thinking about the upcoming holiday season is what did it. All the parties and family gatherings, the pitying looks as people try to come up with something to say to me. "You're a great girl, there's something better around the corner", "It just wasn't meant to be", "time heals all wounds" or my personal favorite (heavy on the sarcasm here) "it's his loss". Then I went to school, which is already not my favorite place to be, and cried three times before the morning bell. Got through the morning and spent the next six hours feeling glib. Don't know where that emotion came from, perhaps I was just sick and tired of feeling sad, mad and hurt. Talked with a couple of friends after choir tonight and bantered some interesting thoughts around such as compartmentalisation and red flags that were missed. We also had a few unrelated laughs. I have good friends, for which I am so grateful. All this emotional upheaval is exhausting, so I'm off to bed.

Day 3

Here's a wise tip. Never go see a fairytale movie when your life is currently anything but a happy ending. It's not very helpful. Also, don't spend time with people who are in the flush of new love, it's hard to hold up. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for my sister, and think her new boyfriend is great. Unfortunately, that doesn't make things any easier. I've held back the tears 4 times today, and had 3 full on uncontrollable cries. Every time one of my friends offers help, I am so overwhelmed by their kind concern that it makes me lose it all over again. I am so grateful for their support. I told my mother today, which was very hard. She has been through a tough time herself, and is still struggling. I felt very guilty laying my problems on her, when she is fighting to stay on top of a life threatening illness. She knew right away that something was wrong, a mothers instinct. I waver between emotions faster than you can say the word, sadness, relief, loneliness, disbelief, anger, frustration and emptiness. There's physical pain too, my heart hurts and my stomach heaves. I've read dozens of online articles about the stages of grief and am trying to follow the advice, but it's very hard. I don't know which thoughts are rational and real and which are delusional and unrealistic. I can only hope for the best and try to take it day by day.

Day 2

I woke up this morning and was hit with an overwhelming feeling of disbelief. I thought for a minute that I was dreaming, but it is so very real. I hurt so much! I really didn't think it was possible to feel this much pain. I distract myself but it's only temporary, the pain comes flooding back at the most inopportune times. I'm prone to tears with very little provocation. My condo is a minefield of memories. I know I'm not the first person to go through this, and certainly won't be the last, but it feels so fresh and raw. I'm sure similar words have appeared on similar blogs, diaries, books, tv shows and movies. It's a universal truth told by the brokenhearted. Time is the master of healing, writing and crying are outlets. I hope to use my blog to heal, and to serve as a reminder of this process. I miss him so much, it feels like the path of least pain is get back together. Of course it would only make sense if it were mutual, and to that end I have no way of knowing how he is feeling. I also don't know if it would even be the right solution. I only know that I love him and he loves me, yet we are apart. This is the biggest test of letting go I have ever faced. It is the first step in managing my need for control over every little detail and most importantly, laying aside my insecurities. I don't know how to do this, how to cut myself off from my best friend, my lover, my confidante, my support, my partner. It's like cutting off my own limb. It feels like every word I write is like a cliche, something I have read or heard before. I can only hope my story has something new to say soon.

November 2007 Books and Movies

Beowulf

Very cool! The screenplay was by Neil Gaiman, so there was just enough weird and wonderful to hold my attention. The digitisation of the action was really interesting, and made everyone look flawless. The aging was especially well done. The creatures were fantastic and the special effects seamless, due to the animation. Glad I went!

Dedication
Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus

I love a good chick lit novel and had enjoyed the Nanny Diaries and Citizen Girl so was psyched when given an advance copy of this one. I found Katie a touch frustrating, with her indecisiveness and general whinging, but was happy with the ending. The 80s and 90s references were spot on, although, if Katie was 30 in 2005, she would have attended high school from 1989 to 1994, so calling this an 80s novel is a bit misleading. It was great to read about the early 90s, it's a rare topic! A nice breezy read, good for when you need a light distraction.

Bee Movie

Very cute and funny. Some of the jokes aimed at adults were hysterical. The kid jokes were heavy on the bee puns, but funny all the same. I found the people characters were a little under drawn both in form and dialogue. It was as if the creators had put so much effort into the bee world, they ran out of time for the people. I'm still surprised this is the first time Jerry Seinfeld has done something since the TV show. It's a great comeback, go see it!

My heart is breaking...

November 30th from 1-2pm is going to stay with me forever. 1 year, 2 months and 13 days. Seems like so little time, but it really was a lot. For me anyway. I know I can get better. I know I can be the woman that I'm meant to be and not be bogged down by the parts of me that are inexcusable. I can only hope that our paths will cross again someday and that I can show him. Friends or more, it will turn out the way it is meant to, I hope. It hurts so much I can't even think.

My Birthday!

Had a great bday weekend with a party, some Mike time and dinner and cake (homemade!) at Amy's today. This year was a bit strange because it actually snowed yesterday. That hasn't happened since I was a little girl! Another year older, but it doesn't feel like it. I had an easy day at school, and left as soon as I could to enjoy the rest of the day. Now winter can officially start!

October 2007 Books and Movies

Practical Demonkeeping
Christopher Moore

What a great book! I mistakenly thought that, as this was Christopher Moore's first novel, that it wouldn't be as good as the others (only have one more to go) I have read. I finished the last page and said to myself "What a great writer. I can't believe he just sat down and wrote that book, having never being been a published author before". Having read his latest novel about Pine Cove (The Stupidest Angel) first and then The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove, I now understand so much more about the inner quirky workings of this setting. Loved the twist and turns, great characters (he should return to Augustus Brine and Gian Djinn for another tale) and fast pace. A definite must read for Moore fans and newbies alike.

Death at a Funeral

Absolutely hilarious! Great British humour, wonderfully acted, bizarro plot twists and a great way to spend a couple of hours! Appreciate the subtleties, they are worth watching again and again. I was really impressed with Alan Tudyk, he has a killer British accent and is hilarious as Simon. Go see it!

Island of the Sequined Love Nun
Christopher Moore

Started off slowly, but got better and better. I read The Stupidest Angel first, so it was interesting to see where the character Tucker Case got his beginnings. Another funny and twisted novel from Christopher Moore. He has the zanniest ideas, it's a wonder where he comes up with them. I seriously thought he was making up Yap, Truk and Micronesia, but they really do exist! Aluahu doesn't though. Beth was scary. Sarapul was hilarious. Roberto, need I say more? Read it and laugh!

Unlikely Destinations - The Lonely Planet Story
Tony and Maureen Wheeler

Let me start off by saying that I'm a huge fan of Lonely Planet guide books. They have helped me have wonderful travel experiences and have gotten me out of more than a few jams. That being said, this autobiography is very poorly written. It's voice (mostly Tony's) is poncy and it's tone is completely disjointed. I found the information interesting, but it is laid out in a really terrible way. I'll still use the guidebooks, but I'll be wary of any more novels from these authors. I think they'll lose some of the respect they have earned from world wide travelers, just because this book is so sub par.

Three Wishes
Liane Moriarty

This was a chance find at the Burlington Central Public Library. I just liked the cover. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I liked the story inside as well. Chick lit, Aussie style, with quirky characters that you actually care about. The contrived coincidences were a bit much at times and Cat's temper made my head hurt but all in all, I enjoyed it very much.

Rush Hour 3

Silly and fun. The acting was a bit forced, but what more than made up for it was the action sequences. Jackie Chan is amazing, as were many of the other fight actors. Chris Tucker is one funny guy, and I'm doubly impressed by his altruistic efforts in Africa between movies. I haven't seen 1 or 2, but now I want to, wooden acting aside.

I love my bike!

I biked 27.6 km today! (Yes I calculated it using google maps, I just had to know.) My route to school is 8.3 km so I bike 16.6 everyday I go to school by bike. This week has been a poor showing, as it threatened to rain everyday, but I did ride today and yesterday. Today I went a few more places than usual. I guess the most grueling part of my ride to school is that it is up Kingston Road every morning. Some days are better than others, that is for sure! Love the ride home, coasting down that big hill. Did I mention I love riding my bike? It's great to be alone with your thoughts, not zoned out in a book or with your iPod. Of course, there are some downsides: cars, pollution, severe head winds, inclement weather, but it's rewarding to get around on your own speed. I'm going to be sad when the snow comes!

Woefully neglecting my Blog

I know it's been a long time. I could blame it on a number of things, work, facebook, social life, band, choir etc. but that would be a screen. I just haven't had the inclination to blog, plain and simple.

So here I go with a brief synopsis:

Work:

I'm at my 5th school in 4 years, so again, it's slow going with finding out where I fit into this new dynamic. I'm teaching at a school in a well to do area, which brings with it a whole other set of challenges than a school with lower socio-economics. My assignment this year is half Core French (grades 4, 5 and 6) and half Vocal Music (grades K to 6). Interestingly, the staff are all female, which is something I've never encountered. I have to say, I prefer a mixed gender staff, and also feel for the boys, who have no male teacher role models.

Health:

I have switched drugs once again, and am in my 2nd month. I feel very well and bike to work most days. My wrists are still a little sore, but overall, I'm doing so well that I even forgot to take my medication once, because I've had few symptoms to remind me. Unfortunately, I haven't achieved full remission, but am hopeful still. My next appointment is November 20th, so we'll see what my doctor has to say.

Relationships:

The advent of Facebook has brought me closer to some people, further away from others and has actually had a tangible impact. I'm amazed that a website could actually change my social life, but it's true. I'm not an addict as some are, but do enjoy the unexpected tidbits from old and new acquaintances.

Mike and I celebrated one year together, on September 17th. I'm frankly in awe of reaching this significant milestone, as I have only done it once before, and that was 13 years ago. Like any relationship, it has it's ups and downs, but is by far the healthiest one I've ever been in, and for those who know me well, that is saying a lot.

Outlook:

Fairly positive. I still have my days, but am focusing on recongnising when my energies are negative and redirecting them. I get to think a lot while on my bike, which has been good for me. When I take the TTC, I tend to zone out, with my iPod, a book or both, and don't actually spend time with my own thoughts. I'm making a concerted effort to work on my self-esteem, which has taken a nose dive due to all of the above categories. I know I cannot do it on my own, and to that end, I'm looking for assistance as well. Reading helps a lot whether it be related or for pleasure.

I'm glad I've updated, reading this over has reminded me that I actually enjoy blogging and really should do it more often!

September 2007 Books and Movies

Stuck in Downward Dog
Chantel Simmons

Well, let's start with the parts I did like. Yoga and the setting. Reading about places, streets and events that were set in Toronto was very cool. I've never read a book set in my Toronto, which this felt like it was. The parts I didn't like were the way Mara let her friends treat her and than she was utterly clueless about all that was going wrong for her. I guess that was the author's attempt at humour, but I'm not a fan of the bumbling idiot routine. A nice, light read, but no Sophie Kinsella novel.

Stardust

This was a fun two hours. I have loved Neil Gaiman ever since a friend introduced me to Neverwhere. Some of it was slightly predictable and I wasn't a fan of a couple of the actor choices, but the special effects were great and the story is very engaging. Claire Danes has a very passable English accent, I was impressed. Not since The Princess Bride have I enjoyed a fantasy/fairy tale so much.

Team Rodent
Carl Hiaasen

Reading this just confirmed what I already thought, that if Disney ever did a movie about the proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing, it would be autobiographical. At 83 pages, this is a quick and easy read, so you can make up your own mind about whether Disney is good or evil.

Teach With Your Heart - Lessons I learned from the Freedom Writers
Erin Gruwell

This memoir helped me understand the pieces that make up the Freedom Writers story, both in the film and in the book that inspired the film. I like details and specifics and I now know what was embelished, taken out of context and switched around to make a more dramatic story. She has been very very lucky. I do admire her work ethic, but she has had many advantages and lucky breaks along the way. It would be difficult to replicate her success without some of her amazing contacts. At first I thought Erin Gruwell was too idealistic, and copped out by leaving high school and going on to teach at the college level without trying to replicate her success. By reading her memoir I understand the choices she made a little better. She is simply too famous to teach in a regular high school. All the kids would be clamouring to be in her class, and, once there, would have an unfair advantage over others.

This is a great way to follow up with this story if you've read the collection of diaries and seen the movie Freedom Writers. This memoir explains many things that were left out and actually reads in the order of events that happened. The writing is a tad weak, and a bit soppy and self serving, but I was still left with the impression that this person was able to help so many and will continue to do so for the rest of her life.

The Nanny Diaries

Boo hoo! Nothing like the book! I didn't expect it to be, but it was still good anyway. The Alicia Keys character was pretty pointless, and she wasn't able to give it enough 'ooph' to make me care about her. Scarlett Johansson is a creat comic actor and pratfalls so well. Laura Linny was great as Mrs. X. An enjoyable couple of hours. Read the book!

Hairspray

Put a smile on my face and kept me bopping in my seat for over 2 hours! John Travolta and Amanda Bynes were highlights. It was fun to identify where in Toronto it was filmed, I'm pretty sure that was CALC high school at Broadview and Danforth. The music is stick in your head fantastic!

August 2007 Books and Movies

Fluke
Christopher Moore

Took a while to get into (I can see why Mike gave up on it halfway through) but then, wham, it turns into a classic Chris Moore gem. The stuff this guy comes up with. Whale ships? Whaley boys? Goo? What a great ride. Oh, and I learned a lot about cetacean biology too! Makes me want to go out and watch whales. A solid book.

Mostly Martha

Ok, so what I wrote about No Reservations, double and triple the praise for Mostly Martha which is the original German film that was remade. Absolutely brilliant! The simple nuanced acting, the location and the food preparation/presentation make it great to watch. I wish I had seen this first, because I wanted to be surprised by the plot, but it was still good.

The Simpsons - The Movie

Much funnier than I thought it would be! Sort of like watching an extended episode on the big screen, but I laughed quite a bit. It would have been just as good as a rental. No need to see it on the big screen. The nudie Bart skateboarding scene was hysterical.

No Reservations

Very cute. Not always a fan of rom coms but this one was better than most. I really like the little girl, Abigail Breslin, who was in Little Miss Sushine. I almost always enjoy Catherine Zeta Jones and have always loved, Patricia Clarkson, ever since I saw her as Ruth's sister in Six Feet Under. Laughed and even cried a litte, and that, for me, is always a sure sign of a good movie.

The Bourne Ultimatum

Very cool. Ties the story together nicely with a tonne of action. Matt Damon is great and it was nice to see Julia Stiles. I read that she was off the scene for a little while doing indies, producing and directing. It's helpful to see the other two movies in the to make sense of the plot. Go see it!