Monday, December 03, 2007
Today I woke up angry, I mean really angry. Punching the pillows angry. Thinking about the upcoming holiday season is what did it. All the parties and family gatherings, the pitying looks as people try to come up with something to say to me. "You're a great girl, there's something better around the corner", "It just wasn't meant to be", "time heals all wounds" or my personal favorite (heavy on the sarcasm here) "it's his loss". Then I went to school, which is already not my favorite place to be, and cried three times before the morning bell. Got through the morning and spent the next six hours feeling glib. Don't know where that emotion came from, perhaps I was just sick and tired of feeling sad, mad and hurt. Talked with a couple of friends after choir tonight and bantered some interesting thoughts around such as compartmentalisation and red flags that were missed. We also had a few unrelated laughs. I have good friends, for which I am so grateful. All this emotional upheaval is exhausting, so I'm off to bed.