Day 5

Oooooh, I'm mad. Mad, mad mad. Mad at the fact that I can't stop crying when I tell new people, mad that I still think getting back together is a good idea, mad that I can't shake the feelings of uncertainty about my future. I know I'm being too hard on myself, that this is a process that I must go though in order to come out the other side a better person, ready to love again. But I need details! How long, how much, who, what, where, when and how? The finality of it all rocks me to my very core. It's only Day 5 and I'm sick of this! Yet another thing I'm mad about. At the very least I'm in good company. Two of my friends are going through very recent break ups. Work is a nightmare, it's definitely the last place I want to be right now. I'm trying to keep the thinking and rehashing down to a minimum, only in my nightly blog. I'm hopeful that after a week of blogging everyday, I'll be able to do it bi-weekly or weekly. I do feel I've made a bit of progress, but get very frustrated when I slip back. I am absolutely exhausted though, so to that end, am off to bed.