Wednesday, January 30, 2008

2 months

If you'd have asked me two months ago if I would feel even marginally ok at this point, I would have laughed in your face. It really is true that every day brings a smidge more healing.

When I think about how I handled my last "break up", (in quotations because there wasn't really something there to break up from) I shake my head ruefully. I should say how I didn't handle it. I did everything wrong and paid for it dearly. I learned some good lessons from it, but it doesn't make doing the right things any easier on the heart.

Tonight, by chance, I ran into my first true love (who, of course, broke my heart into a million and one pieces), and in the midst of my current situation, it was very strange, like all my feelings were merged together. I didn't handle that break up very well either...hmm, sensing a pattern here. I shouldn't be too hard on myself though, I was very young at the time.

As for how I'm feeling right now, I've come to a few realisations that have really helped, made a few decisions about how to proceed and made renewed efforts to take things one day at a time.

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