Almost forgot what day it was...

until it hit me, today would have been 15 months. It's interesting because last month, which was 14 months, went by and I didn't notice for the first time. I guess I should have taken that as a warning sign. My friend said something pretty profound today. He said that I wouldn't have reacted to the birthday gifts the way in which I did if I wasn't feeling resentment for what I wasn't getting out of the relationship. Why is it so hard to admit that I had doubts while in the middle of it? Why is it so hard to admit that it's over? Between my job, my mom's illness and this, I'm not holding up well.