Saturday, December 08, 2007

1st set back

I've got to get used to the idea that there will be good days and bad days. While watching a lighthearted romantic comedy, I started to cry (as I often do at these kinds of movies) and it turned into a full fledged bawl. I cried for a lot of things, love, loneliness, mistakes, good times, the past, the future, broken hearts and grief. I feel so drained and overwhelmed by these powerful feelings, it's like drowning. The dress rehearsal for the choir concert was so hard today. We are performing Bach's xmas oratorio, and it features three trumpets. I was so looking forward to looking out and seeing him in the audience, knowing that he was hearing spectacular trumpet music. And then, ironically enough, Paul (the musician who played the last post at my school's remembrance day assembly and went to Western as well) is playing third trumpet in the concert. I went up to say hi, and mentioned that we had a mutual aquaintance, and he told me a funny story. The feelings evoked by that little story were unbearable. It was exactly him, to the T. Afterwards, when I was some distance away, I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I know everything is supposed to happen for a reason, but right now, I can't for the life of me think what that reason could be.

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