Friday, February 24, 2006

Slept on it

I did decide to go to practice this evening, but felt out of sorts and wasn't able to play simple things that I could before. My confidence has definitely taken a big dip. Talked to Karen and Lesley and had a little bit of a breakdown, but it wasn't too bad and they were helpful. Lesley said she had known RPA for 20 years and she has always been the same. Critical and fearful of what she doesn't know about. She pointed out that the behaviour had the hallmarks of a bully, and she is right. I knew this before, but I didn't want to admit it. Karen said that she thought that my piccolo playing was in tune last week and how hard it was to tune a piccolo. Anyway, it was nice to have the support but I still have to find a way to built myself up again and steel myself against another attack which will most certainly again come my way. I need to find my coping mechanism if I stay with the QOR. Other than that, my choices are to quit everything, or change regiments.

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